Ministry this month has been nothing like I was expecting, even though technically I had ‘no expectations’ for the race…
Our whole squad has been together which has been great for building relationships but extremely confusing for ministry purposes. With 53 people who are all eager and excited for ministry but only about 5 missionaries to work with a few people get the less than thrilling ministry options, such as handing out tracts and fliers for church programs.
My team was assigned Kids Club every afternoon for the week. I was stoked, we got the jackpot, playing and teaching kids, it couldn’t get any better. They only needed three people a day for a few hours so my team of seven all chose a day or two to go. I was supposed to go towards the end of the week and was hearing great things all week from my teammates. When it was my day to go the missionary told us she has been going every week to this new area of town but there have been no kids for about 3 weeks…
Really… I have been waiting all week, hearing all these awesome stories and on the one day I get to go do kids ministry, I get the place with no kids. I signed up for the race to do mission work and make a difference, not just live in a house with 50+ people and publicize for events. I could have just joined a sorority to do that. There had to be more.
I read this verse in Matthew that night:
Matthew 5: 14-16 – “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let you light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
I was sitting in my hammock thinking “Yes, God, THIS is what I want. I want to go out and shine the light, make a difference in this community.”
But that was just the problem, I wanted to go and shine MY light. Make a difference according to MY timing, abilities and what I thought would be best for the community.
John 8:12 – “Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””
HE is the Light; I walk in darkness without him. Through HIM I am able to reflect the His light out to the world.
I have been trying to shine my own light this whole time, trying to do God’s work with my own dim little light, no wonder I have felt so useless. My light will not reach or impact anyone.
But if I turn to the source of light and walk in that light, I can reflect the light of LIFE to the world.
If you ask me the light of life is way better than the light of my selfish pride.
So my question to you is whose light are you shining?
