I thank The Lord that I am not God, and you should too.
Not only am I a human who fails, I am a woman who can be really emotional. And many times I give my emotions too much power and let them take control of my day.
But the good news is that while I do believe God has emotions, I know that God is faithful to who he says he is. One of his sweetest characteristics is his consistency, therefore emotions can't sway him.
"I, The Lord, do not change." – Malachi 3:6
I believe its important to address who God is before I begin answering your questions because at the end of the day it's not about me or my opinions, it's about Him. So, with that in mind, let's jump in!
Question #1: "Do I ever feel unworthy of other people's support on the days where it's not easy?"
Simply put, yes. There are days where I don't feel worthy at all, from Abba's grace to the financial support of those back home.
On those days Abba lets me know two things. First, that nobody is just supporting me, they are supporting God through the mission he has given me. I have no doubt that God called me to the world race, so it's His will, his bill, and he calls His people to rise up. In short, it's not about me or for me, it's for God and the advancement of his kingdom. Secondly, he lets me know it's okay to have bad days, it's okay to be emotional, it's okay to miss people I love. What's not okay is sitting and letting those days linger and become the norm.
Heck, look at Paul, he was one of the greatest missionaries of all time and he begins almost every letter in the New Testament with mentioning how much he misses and longs to be with the people to whom he's writing.
"God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by Gods will the way may be opened for me to come to you. I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong- that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." – Romans 1: 9-12
Those verses let me know that even missionaries are emotional. And it's okay!
Sometimes it's really hard to extend the same grace to myself that I give to others and I think the root of this problem is confusing lies of the enemy with truth from Abba.
Conviction and guilt are two totally different things. Conviction is from The Lord and it produces freedom. Guilt is from the enemy and instead of producing freedom it binds us up.
So the next time we feel things, let's do ourselves a favor:
Feel them.
Embrace them.
Sob.
Scream.
Stop running from them.
Stop letting the guilt of having emotions bind us up.
Abba can handle our honesty.
And after were done doing those things lay every one of those emotions at his feet. In return he will lavish us with grace upon grace.
How will you know when you're done feeling those emotions? I wish I could give you a clear cut answer, but its different for everyone and every situation. Obviously if you're feeling sadness after your mom died it's going to take much longer than if you're upset after a breakup.The good news is, if Jesus is in our heart, he gives us a comforter, and his role is to let us know when we are acting against The Lord.
So let's listen to Him. He will speak truth into us and give us sweet sweet freedom.
Even though it's not about us, its about Him he still lets us know we are worthy, regardless if we feel like it.
"For in him we live and move and have our being…" -Acts 17:28
