"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." -Ephesians 4:2-3
Relationships on the race aren't easy. But if it's who and what God has called together it will be more than worth the effort.
With that being said, here's a glimpse into the love story God had for me and how the race has strengthened us in ways I never could have imagined. There's no doubt in my mind that Abba brought Justin and me together. He knew it wouldn't always be easy but he also knew that the closeness we would experience would be so much greater than anything we could have ever experienced while being physically together. He has strengthened us and taught us new ways to love each other.He has united us on so many levels, from waking us up to pray for one another, to teaching us the same lessons from different contexts.
Since 11 is obviously our favorite number, here's 11 tips for those in relationships:
1. If it's not from God, it wont work.
Distance is hard on its own, but add to the mix little to no alone time for 11 months and the fact that you are changing more than you ever have, and you get a recipe for a disaster and heartbreak. If God didn't call it to be and you're having to justify it every time you bring it up, there's your sign.
2. Embrace the community you're in.
God has placed you in the community of your squad and your team for a reason. Even on the days when you want to rip all of your hair out, don't vent to your significant other. Dig deep into who he's placed around you. Justin and I have an understanding that if I haven't shared it with my team, he doesn't know about it.
3. Be honest.
You're both going to have good days and bad days. Don't sugar coat things. Be real, and be honest just like you would if you were together.
4. Share the experiences.
By month 5 many things have gotten normal for you, but your loved one will still be surprised to hear that you fed a monkey, a chicken was on your bus, or you ate a spider.
5. Pursue each other.
This takes some effort, but like I said earlier, it will be a joy if your heart is in the right place. Send each other a picture of the day, send one thing you love about each other, etc.
6. Read the word together.
The Holy Spirit isn't limited to distance. So as you're reading through Romans or Psalms invite your sweetie to read it with you and share revelations from Abba. (If he/she isn't willing to get in the word now, what makes you think they will later?)
7. Be realistic.
Arguments will happen, disagreements will arise. That's normal, and if you're not willing to work on them now, you won't be willing to later. There's never a right time to have a disagreement, but in order to move forward you have to work through things.
8. Recognize they are on their own journey too.
You're traveling and living out of a backpack with 40 + other people. Your life seems much more exciting, but don't forget they are on a journey of their own too.
9. Stay present.
If you're too focused on what's next you'll miss what's happening right now, rejoice in this season of growth and self exploration.
10. Expect to be a different person when you get back:
The person who launched and the person who get off the plane at the end of 11 months will no doubt be a different person. Be willing to relearn some things about yourself with your sweetheart.
11. Fight for each other.
The best way to do this is on your knees in prayer. Lift each other up to abba when you miss each other, when you're doing good, when you're not so hot. Allow Abba to unite you through prayer
