Mosquito bites suck.
As I was laying in my sleeping bag liner the other night I realized I had several bites that itched. As I was applying medicine to them I noticed I had one bite that didn't itch as much as the rest. Then I recognized why: I hadn't scratched it yet.
The moment that I scratch the mosquito bite is the moment that it begins to itch uncontrollably. The itching sensation intensifies to a whole new level that seems almost impossible to resist.
Then I knew The Lord wanted to share something with me that was far beyond a bite by an obnoxious bug. It was a lesson that God had for me. A lesson in temptation.
Have you ever noticed that the moment that we give into temptation that it suddenly becomes so much harder to resist? The moment we give in once its like temptation now knows how to call us by name. It gets personal.
One of my biggest temptations is an ugly word called comparison. Once I scratched this bite of comparison it started to consume more and more of my time and my thoughts. But it never had enough.
I cant pinpoint what my first thought of comparison was, but I know that much of my comparison was found in my identity as a Christian. I wasn't as spiritual as this group of people- but I was more spiritual than this group; yada yada yada.
My first comparison thought on the race was the same. There was a group of people that I labeled as the "super Christians," a group I wasn't a part of. They had something different with God, something that I couldn't have.
Then theres the group of Christians that see me as the "super Christian." The girl that laid her life down to live out of a backpack for 11 months.The girl who left her family and future husband behind to love the nations. Those people made me feel good because they gave me constant affirmation that I was doing the right thing.
Don't get me wrong, the world race is still the right thing because God has called me to it. But my obedience doesn't stop at coming on the World Race. If I let it stop there then I would leave and come back the same person, which is a thought that terrifies me. I want to come back different; therefore I'm going to have to continuously be obedient to new and harder things.
Going into this month The Lord told me that this was a month where I was supposed to come back to Him alone as my first love. At first I was thinking, "I can do this." Then God told me, "Shelby this month is February- the month of love. In order to experience me as your first love I want you to rely on me this month by not leaving El Shaddai for internet." My first thought was, "God that is crazy. I'm already thousands of miles away from my loved ones, I've told you yes, so why the heck can't I talk to Justin and my family like once a week?"
God assured me that He wasn't going to force me into anything; because that is simply not His nature. Their is freedom in Christ, but I became a prisoner to comparison. God says the only one I should ever compare myself to is Christ.
" All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteousness acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. "
-Isaiah 64:6
I read that verse and think dang. Filthy rags isn't something I like to be referred as. And God tells me that I am not filthy rags, but even my most righteous acts are compared to the humble sacrifice of Jesus.
My obedience to saying yes to the world race, and yes to no internet aren't what make me righteous. Jesus is. God sees me as his righteous daughter because of what His Son did for me.
As far as me seeing a group of people as "super Christian" because Jesus talks them in ways He doesn't talk to me, that is bologna. God has created me uniquely. There is no one else who looks like me, talks like me, or acts like me. I am one of a kind. And because God has made me that way why would I expect Him to talk to me the same way He talks to others?
After putting my comparison to death I can see that God delights by talking to each of us in different ways. My first responsibility is never to look at others as a measurement of what is right and wrong; but to look to Him instead. He will speak in ways that will get my attention; so my second responsibility is to be open to however he chooses to speak to me: through nature, through teachings, through trials, through dreams, through other people, through circumstances, through service, through worship, through his word, through emotions, the list is endless.
How is The Lord speaking to you? What new ways does He want you to see and hear Him? I challenge each of you to go to God and ask Him what your mosquito bites are because those are the things that become a wedge between us and The Lord. Once you find out what it is, bring that bite to the light. Have accountability partners that can lovingly call you out when you start to scratch it.
