I have a newfound thankfulness for social media since being on the race because it allows me to keep up with family and friends. At times Facebook and Instagram can be such a blessing, but then other times it can be curse.
You see when I scroll through social media I find plenty of posts about wedding dresses, engagement pictures, pregnant bellies, new born babies, and families holding hands with all that God has blessed them with.
Then my mind begins down the treacherous path of "the grass is greener on the other side." I see these pictures and think, "what if?"
The other day I had a conversation with a friend and she told me that she sees my posts and she gets jealous of what I'm doing and the adventures I'm having. She said she often looks at my life and wonders, "what if" too.
Isn't it crazy how that works? Why is it that we see other peoples lives and wonder "what if?"
I think the root of those wondering thoughts goes back to the simple fact that we glamorize our lives, and we start by fooling ourselves. Notice I said we, because I do it too. Even, and sometimes especially on the race.
I post pictures of the adventures. The pictures of cute children, babies, smiling group pictures, and me riding elephants. But what you don't see is pictures of squatty potties, the months upon months of curry and rice, the faces of me and my team mates after an argument, or pictures of me scratching my head after it becomes infested with lice.
The one thing that helps me push past through the hard moments is none other than Jesus himself. He sustains me and makes all the hard times more than worth it because this is what he has called me to. He hasn't called me to the lifestyle my friends back in America are pursuing yet and that's why the "what ifs?" are simply silly.
Its easy to look at my life on the race and think everything is great, but that's simply not the case. God has a way of always turning the bad to great for his glory, but sometimes in the middle of the struggle it just sucks. There are days when I don't want to get out of my tent. There are days when I want to run away and just be alone for an hour. There are days when I'm so desperate for freedom that I feel like I could hot-wire someone's car and just take a drive for hours. There are moments when I see my family together, or my sister getting ready for senior prom and I get so homesick that I cry myself to sleep.
The same thing happens when I see posts from family and friends back in America. I see the good, the happy. What I don't see is the couple after their first fight, the soon to be mom who is throwing up from morning sickness, the bloodshot eyes of a parent after a newborn baby kept them up all night crying.
The challenge I have for myself and for everyone is simple: be real. So many people walk in to the world race thinking its going to be adventure after adventure and so many people walk into marriage thinking its going to be nothing but roses and sex. While those things do happen, there is a lot of stuff in between that we all have to work through.
So let's pledge to be real and not to glamorize our lives. I'm not asking us to focus on the negative, because anyone who knows me knows that that would be impossible for me. I'm just asking us to be real with ourselves first, and then others second.
"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another" – Ephesians 4:25
When we allow ourselves to be real we give others the freedom to not be perfect too. We demolish the unrealistic expectations that we all seem to be trying to live up to and just simply allow ourselves and others to be a glorious mess that only God can put back together.
If we never experience the valleys the mountain tops wouldn't be nearly as rewarding. So don't hide your valleys, embrace them because they are the very things that teach you thankfulness on the mountain tops!
As a way to open up and be real I'm inviting you: those who are closest to me, those who support me, pray for me, encourage me, and those who are reading my story, to ask me anything you want. The questions can be specific to the world race, to my walk with Abba, to a nation I've been to, anything. The floor is yours!
I promise to respond to every one of your questions, and my next few blogs will include the most asked questions that you have! Feel free to comment below, or send me an email at [email protected] with your questions!
