It had been a week since I slept more than two hours at a time. I was exhausted, frustrated and just down right overwhelmed. When I was expressing this to my team I started off by saying, "I'm asking God why he's keeping me up, I know he must want my attention to tell me something."
I was challenged by the statement from a fellow team mate, "Shelby, Jesus is a loving father. He's not the kind of Dad who chooses bad things to happen to his children."
It took me more than a week to fully grasp the statement she challenged me with. I know Abba uses all things for our good but just because he works good out of them doesn't mean that he intends for bad things to happen to us.
Somewhere along the way my view of him became really distorted to the point that I thought God caused me deliberate pain.
As I was praying for God to reveal himself to me he reminded me of last month in Thailand when I hurt my ankle. My initial response to others was, "God wanted to get my attention so he could teach me how to rest."
Abba let me know how much that comment hurt his heart by giving me an example of my own father. He asked me, "Would your earthly father ever break your bones in order to get your attention?"
Of course not. And neither would my Heavenly Father.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"-1 John 3:1
I learned I had serious daddy issues. I couldn't fully receive the love my Heavenly Father had for me because in the back of my mind I thought he caused me pain so that I would listen to him. I limited my earthly father too. There were many things he offered me that took 22 years for me to receive.
What I realize now is that I hurt my fathers' hearts when I don't receive from them all the love that they want to lavish me with. I'm still learning how to receive but I now understand that its an important part of being his imitator and his daughter.
In order to imitate and give the love of Christ to others I first have to have an accurate view of My Heavenly Father and receive from him all the love he has for me.
As I work thorough not being Gods worker, but Gods imitator I realize that I have a lot to learn. And that the more I receive from him the more I can accurately imitate. So my prayer is that he will continue giving me revelations about who He is, and point out the views I have of him that are way off.
So as you read this I challenge you to ask Abba to show you the misconceptions about him that you carry with you. Allow him in those places so that he can bring light to them and help each of us imitate who he really is. And finally, remember in order to give, we must first receive from above.
