An Open Letter to My Parents
Dear Mom and Dad, It has been almost nine months without you in my life on a daily basis and to say the least, I miss you. Hour-long phone calls over bad wifi, and spotty texts that indicate that I’m still alive, just aren’t enough. They simply are not getting to the point in which I want to say and that is, thank you.
I’m writing this letter to you mainly because I don’t think these phone calls are a good enough service to you. In all these conversations that we’ve had in the past couple of months, I don’t think I’ve given you my full attention. Actually, I know I haven’t given you my full attention. When I do at least try to give it, chances are I’m probably having another conversation in the background. I’m either checking the time to make sure I’m not running late for something or saying hi to the people that pass by. Half of me is trying to be invested in our conversation and the other half is in another conversation altogether. Meanwhile, I have your complete and full attention. You both have literally dropped everything for me in some way, shape or form. I have called you at three in the morning and you have answered, in a groggy state I might add, but answered anyways to hear me rant about what is going on. You drop everything because it’s important to you.
You have put me first, no matter where we are or what situation we are put in. You have put me first no matter how it affected you. You have loved me, no matter where I have been, no matter what I have done, and no matter how much I have hurt you. You have forgiven me, even if I wronged you, even if I did not deserve a second chance.
As I’m growing up, I have realized how much you have actually done for me and how much you have shaped me to be the person I am today. Yet when you meet your daughter for the first time in 9 months I hope she’s different than that little girl who left you hiding behind her convincing words and her dreams. I want you guys to see how different she actually is. Who she has become, and who she no longer is. But before you see me, I need to truly thank you, this is something that I don’t think I have fully done to date.
Dad, thank you for telling me my dreams and goals are not dumb, but completely obtainable. Thank you for letting me build that dream high up into the sky and letting me chase after it. And thank you for believing that I had the ability to be anything I wanted to be, even if what I wanted to be scared you.
Mom, thank you for showing me how to fight for the things I believe in. Thank you for showing me how to stand up for myself even if everyone else looks down on me. Thank you for showing me that being stubborn sometimes is a good thing and that having a hard head can come in handy.
Dad, thank you for spending countless hours after you got home from work each night to teach me how I could be better in any of the sports I was playing. Thank you for picking me up after practice, even if you were fifteen minutes late. Thank you for pushing me so hard at first that eventually, you weren’t pushing me at all, but it was me pushing myself to the limits. Thank you for coming to every basketball game, soccer game, tennis match, volleyball game, and track meet, even if it meant you had to go into work extra early just to come to them. Thank you for coaching me, and the refs from the sidelines, I loved every minute of that. Thank you for your love of sports, not only in watching them (by the way I can’t wait to watch the Duke games with you), but also playing them.
Mom, thank you for letting me talk your ear off, even when you were really tired and you were probably already on your third cup of coffee. And during those times thank you for giving me that advice that only a mother could give. Thank you for telling me to be stronger and to not let other people’s words or actions affect me. Thank you for laughing at my jokes even though I knew they weren’t funny. Thank you for being the shoulder that I could cry on when I was hurt.
Dad, thank you for raising me as a tomboy and letting me play in the mud with my brother. Thank you for not making me do inside housework, but instead showing me how to mow the lawn.
Mom, thank you for allowing me to be this tomboy and not dressing me in those gawd-awful pink frills, even though I’m sure you really wanted too. Thank you for seeing who I was and not forcing me to be someone else or someone I didn’t want to be.
Dad, thank you for allowing me to work with you on projects, whether it was building a rocket or building a table. Thank you for showing me how to use the power tools and not allowing me to just sit and watch.
To the both of you, thank you for understanding when I need to take a leap of faith. Thank you for supporting me in my journey even if it doesn’t seem logical at times. Thank you for recognizing that it was what I needed to do and for hearing me out.
Both of you, thank you for showing me what real hard work looks like. For showing me that you can’t just be handed things your whole life and that nothing will come easy, but that you have to work hard for what you want. Thank you for showing me that blood, sweat and a lot of tears really does pay off.
And to both of you, thank you for letting me be an adult. Thank you for letting me work at a very young age and understand what responsibility was. Thank you for allowing me to grow up and understand what that actually means.
Thank you for raising me to be me. I know I wasn’t the easiest child you could have had and I know I rose hell a lot of the time, but thank you for putting up with me. I love both of you so much.
Now I sit here at the brink of two worlds that are about to collide and I hope you see how much my world has changed. I’m excited for you two to see your new daughter and to see how much of her is different.
I’m excited for you to see how her heart has softened to the people around her and how she loves everybody and forgives freely no matter what the circumstance.
I’m excited for you to see how she is not shameful of her past and does not hold back in sharing it.
I’m excited for you to see how she prays big prayers and sometimes scary prayers and waits on them in expectation for them to be answered.
And I am most excited for you to meet your daughter who is now known by her true name and free, oh so free of all that guilt and shame that she once held onto. A daughter that has more life in her that you ever thought possible. I am so excited for you to meet her, and she is really excited to be a part of your world again.
I love you,
Your daughter,
Boo
