Sometimes it is hard to believe that it all happened. My mind and heart are still overwhelmed when I think of the incredible experiences that were the Race. There are so many sweet memories that I often reflect on.
Hiking the last day in Guatemala at 3 in the morning to catch the sunrise over the lake.
Praying and receiving a vision from the Lord and then going out and having that vision come true.
Living in a house with so many people. Sharing clothes. Staying up late playing Dutch Blitz. Cooking for my team.
Waking up and having coffee and quiet time with the Lord on the roof while I watched the world come to life at the base of the volcano.
The night we met Nut and led her to the Lord and into a life of freedom.
The morning when I woke up in my hammock right as the sun was rising and “This is Living” had just started playing on my iPod. It was beautiful and intimate and full of the love His presence brings.
Jennifer. Daliso. Fawny & Joshua.
The day that I bought the kids of my neighborhood bread and juice and played in the street with them and painted their nails and did nothing more than be their friend. It wasnt ministry, it was a relationship. It wasnt forced…it was just me spending time with the children I love.
And the womens event…. I am still amazed at how we pulled that off. I am blown away that the Lord allowed me to step into a position of leadership for a portion of that time.
And I remember the night where one by one, my team gave me feedback and called out qualities in me that I was having a difficult time seeing in myself. I miss that aspect of community. I miss having my sisters there to see the gifts the Lord has given me when my eyes were too tired.
I miss playing pranks on people at midnight. I miss star tipping and cuddling with Jodi in her tent when the race got hard.
I miss it all.
But there were so many times that I wanted to give up. There were so many times when I had no idea why the hell the Lord brought me so far across the world. I wanted to go home. I was tired. It hurt. It was not always a fun road to walk with the Lord. But it was one of the most incredible journeys I have ever been on.
Now, after being home for 5 months, I have so many fond memories. When I look through pictures, I am overwhelmed with emotion. It fills me with joy because it was such a beautiful, fruitful time of my life. I walked with the Lord, served his children, loved hard and it was so good. It was a beautiful season. But I am sad because they are just memories. I will never be in those places again with those people again. It was a beautiful time, and for that I have joy, but it is over and for that I am sad.
It was good. It was so so good. I want to grow to a place where I can look on those 9 months with nothing but joy.
Everything.
The mountain tops.
The times of struggle.
The times I wanted to go home.
The times I didn’t give up.
The times I felt the Lord, and the times when I doubted his sovereignty.
The moment I was reunited with my family, and the moments at home when it hits me that its really all over.
It was a beautiful season, and it is over. But that does not mean the Lord is finished with me.
I believe the race was just the beginning. I have felt the Lord place a calling on my life. I have heard him say He wants to use me for great things. And the race, as incredible as it was, was only the beginning.
He wants to take me so much deeper. There is so much more of his heart to be known. There is so much more love to be experienced, so many broken people that He wants to know his heart, so much world that I’ve yet to see. There is so much behind, and even more ahead. I am thankful.
I am thankful for where He has taken me. I am thankful for where He is continuing to lead me. I am thankful that He is full of grace and that He has rescued me in the pit of my brokenness. I am thankful that He is present in every season.
So, even though it makes my heart a little sad when I look back at pictures or think back on places the Lord has taken me, it also brings me great joy because I know this is just the beginning. I am in a season of waiting. I am home again, but that does not mean the Lord isn’t moving in my life. My life isn’t as extravagant and exciting as it has been before, but the Lord is doing some cool things. He is preparing me for some great times. He is present here, He was present there, and He is present in every moment ahead. I am thankful. My heart is full of joy.
