One of my biggest struggles is inadequacy.
When I was in middle and high school, I struggled with being left out of group hangouts and I wondered why I was never good enough to be invited. In highschool and college, I struggled with feeling like I wasn’t good enough for guys to want to date me and felt like I as never pretty or skinny enough. Currently, I’m struggling with feeling inadequate at my job.
Most days, I love my job and the opportunities I have to serve people, but recently I’ve been struggling with feeling inadequate once again. I feel like I have been doing my best and working hard, but my efforts don’t get recognized as much as my faults do and it’s been exhausting. It’s been really easy for me to get down on myself once again and tell myself that I am not good enough and no matter how hard I try, I won’t be. But thank goodness, this isn’t true. Today at the end of my shift, I began to feel the weight of my inadequacy. I was frustrated, I wanted to cry, and I didn’t feel valuable. I turned to God and He immediately began to calm my heart and remind me that I do not belong here. This place is not my home and therefore my worth does not lie here.
My value does not lie in what my coworkers think of me.
My value does not lie in how well I do my job.
My value does not lie in how many likes I get on my Instagram picture.
My value does not lie in how many boys want to date me.
My value does not lie in how many people want to hang out with me.
My value comes from what my Father thinks of me, and ONLY what he thinks of me.
When I don’t measure up to much in this life, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ.
There will be days that I mess up.
There will be days where I don’t measure up to the standards the world has for me.
There will be days when I disappoint people.
But all the while, Christ still finds me beautiful and perfect and worthy.
Even when I don’t meet the expectations of people, I can always find comfort knowing that they do not define me.
My worth is found in Jesus Christ, and He says that I am beautiful, I am special, I am worthy, and most importantly, I am His alone. This is enough to satisfy my soul.
