It’s been over a month since my last blog post, for which I would like to apologize. Trust me, I’ve been brainstorming days at a time trying to collect my thoughts, find the best topic, and write about some jaw-dropping experience…But obviously that didn’t happen. So I’m going to try a different approach: Instead of drawing you in with my crazy stories and spiritually-moving moments, or posting more photos of pretty landscapes and friends, I’m going to be real and open up about where I’m at.
In total honesty, the race has been incredibly challenging. Sure, I knew going into this experience that it was going to be a difficult year (that’s half the reason why I decided to go). But the race has been hard in ways I didn’t expect. I thought I was going to struggle with homesickness, constantly feeling dirty, community, living out of a tent, and other “typical World Race basics.” But, I’m not homesick; I’ve gotten to shower every day; I have become even more extroverted and lovey dovey towards my community; and the Lord has blessed my team with more-than-comfortable living situations.
Yet despite all these incredible blessings, I’m still having the hardest year of my life yet–and it’s only month three. I’ve seen and heard spirits in my bedroom. I’ve had to watch my teammates struggle with past hurts and current trials. Every day I hear God telling me how to be closer to Him; I feel like His project. And that’s why I came on the race–I came to be challenged by God and to grow in our relationship.
Then why am I so frustrated with this process? I just didn’t expect it to be so hard on me; I figured I could take it. I didn’t expect hearing Him say to me daily, “I love you, beloved. Come away with me” to be so hard. I didn’t think being an extrovert living in community would be tough. I also didn’t think surrendering would be so hard.
Yes, the World Race is hard. There are days I want to call it quits and run home to all my comforts. Sometimes I throw up my hands in disbelief that I’ve still got eight months to go. BUT, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I’ve made lifelong friends, talked to some of the kindest hearts, witnessed souls join the Kingdom, laughed until I fell over, been to places I’ve dreamed of seeing, and have never felt closer to my Father. The World Race life can be a difficult one, but there’s no other life I’d rather be living.
