two-hundred-sixty-five days ago i said goodbye to my home + family + friends + dog + church + favorite foods + routine.
two-hundred-sixty-five-days ago i struggled to find hope & purpose somewhere between sadness & expectancy.
two-hundred-sixty-five days ago i cried & i feared & i dared enough to trust anyway.
…and that trust has taken me far,
eight-thousand-seven-hundred miles to be exact.
but a few days from now i’ll be back at the LA airport where this crazy adventure began. i am anticipating this next season to be really sweet as i say hello to my friends & family back in the states but also really difficult as i say goodbye to my world race family.
so i wanted to write a blog talking about this all so that i can provide you with a more practical understanding of what my life has looked like the past few months and so that you can better love me during this transition! i don’t want you to over-glorify my journey because the same God who wrote mine wrote yours too. i know that life has continued on without me back in the states and just as much as you want to hear about my experiences i also want to hear about yours!
so, heres the tea:
i’ve done so much more than travel thousands of miles & hop from country to country for the past two-hundred-sixty-five days of my life.
in two-hundred-sixty-five days
strangers have become sisters,
routines have become rhythms,
churches have become homes,
& homes have become churches,
all as “mine” became “ours”.
i’ve met some of the strongest + bravest + boldest people in ecuador, peru, guatemala, & cambodia.
i’ve seen the different realities of sex-trafficking & poverty.
i’ve encountered God + Jesus + the Holy Spirit in new breath-taking ways.
i’ve walked through doubt & confusion & exhaustion but have grown more deeply rooted in Love & Truth as a result.
i’ve laughed till my belly hurt & cried till my nose turned red.
to put it simply, A LOT has happened in the past two-hundred-sixty-five days.
this wasn’t just a nine month “trip”,
this was me living life.
victories & setbacks, peace & stress, joy & frustration- i’ve sat in all the highs & lows that come along with being human, just like you.
so don’t set expectations!
i am the same as when i left in some ways and different than when i left in others.
i witnessed healings but not all were physical.
i had “Jesus moments” but most were small + still moments sitting with my Father rather than instant + life-changing transformations.
don’t assume, just ask!
i am beyond excited to tell you about all my teammates + people i’ve met, all the different ministries i’ve partnered with, & all the ways God moved in + through me;
but because i’ve been away for so long and so much has happened, it would be helpful if you asked more specific questions rather than open-ended + broad questions. i didn’t just do scheduled ministry for nine months, i lived life. some days i taught english, others i carried cement buckets up hills, and others i went to a movie theater. it’s both overwhelming and difficult to sum up nine months of testimonies, emotions, & experiences into a single answer so questions targeted towards a certain country, holiday, topic, or emotion will allow me to shift through my thoughts.
here are a few examples:
bad questions:
– “how was your trip?” (ummm, how was your past nine months???)
– “what did you do?”
– “what did you learn?” (errrm, a lot.)
– “what was your favorite part?”
– “what was difficult?”
– “have you changed as a person?”
– “was it scary?”
– “how many healings did you witness!?!?”
– “what did God do? (again, a lot.)
– “what was it like living with 40 people?” (difficult, amazing, fun, challenging, all the things)
– “aren’t you happy to be back?!?!”
good questions:
– “which country did you like the best?”
– “what was your ministry in ecudaor? peru? guatemala? cambodia?”
– “how is God moving in ecuador? peru? guatemala? cambodia?”
– “what was the most challenging part about ecuador? peru? guatemala? cambodia?”
– “who were some influential people you met in each country?” (i would absolutely love to tell you stories about all the amazing people i have met!)
– “was there ever a time you felt unsafe? how did you handle it?”
– “what was the biggest challenge you faced with regards to constant community and what did you learn from it?”
– “whats a funny story about you and your team?” gross story? embarrassing story? scary story? etc.
asking questions that are even just a tad more specific makes a world of difference & will allow me to give you more detail about what i have experienced!
vague questions like “how are you doing” will not create the same space for vulnerability or understanding compared to a more specific question like “how can i be praying for you?”, “what is the most difficult part about being back home?”, or “what is God teaching you right now?”.
likewise i want to know about your life, so talk to me about it!
i would love to ask you questions and hear anything from funny stories to challenges God has walked you through! i want to know about what you have learned and what this season of life has looked like for you so please don’t say “it was good” because it was so much more than that and i would love to hear about it!
with all of that being said, i am very excited to be back home but this is also a hard transition for me as i am leaving 40 of my brothers & sisters who i have done life with every single day since septmeber. my reactions may not seem as dramatic or as sad or as happy as you expect & a situation may be easier or harder for me than you expect- i won’t freak out when i walk into trader joe’s but i may freak out when i put a seat belt on. there’s a lot of unspoken pressure coming off of something like this so i am asking that you give me grace if i don’t live up to your assumptions, if i don’t seem “excited” or “thankful” enough, if i lack patience with you, if i just need a break, or if i feel overwhelmed. i also promise to extend grace to you in any way & i am praying that God fills both of our hearts with patience + understanding.
i am currently in thailand for my final debrief & will be heading to the airport tomorrow night as i begin my two day journey home.
this is definitely a bittersweet goodbye & i would like to thank you for taking time to read this & doing your best to support me in this transition!
i know that my Abba’s Kindness + Faithfulness will continue to carry me from glory to glory & i am excited for Him to continue growing + stretching me at home in america.
if you want to grab coffee or hang out once i get back, just let me know! i would love to!
see you so soon!
-shek
