Within 24 hours of arriving at our base ministry location in Malaysia, my team and our awesome squad leaders downsized our packs and hit the road again on a marathon trip to a few cities around northern Malaysia to preach and pray. In our first week here we were to travel to a total of 5 different cities. We pretty much hit the ground running. Or jogging. At least a nice-paced power walk.
We’re tired. Exhausted. Drained. All of the above. We’ve been traveling for 11 months. We actually look forward to days spent on a plane or bus because that is however many hours that we can rest and not be required to think. Our bodies are tired. We feel (and look) about 20 years older. We’ve seen a lot. We’ve done a lot. We’ve been “on� for 11 months and we have reached the breaking point. I used to read blogs of Racers who slept for a week upon their return home and wondered how they did it. I know now. You can’t imagine being here until you’re here. You can’t imagine collapsing sobbing in front of a convenience store after carrying your pack for 12 hours or so on one last travel day until you do it. It’s a precarious emotional state, this Month 11. J
Anyway, to sum it up, we were pretty tired as we left for our third city in as many days.
Kristen and I preached to a small group of girls in a morning service, then we all plugged in our ipods and braced ourselves for a stuffy van ride over the mountains. The stuffy, cramped van ride did not disappoint and I thought I was seeing mirages of signs for strawberries as we reached the top of one mountain. We rounded a corner and I saw that the signs had not been a mirage. In fact, ahead of us were some buildings and an even bigger sign with chocolate covered strawberries on it! We pointed out this anomaly to each other with our insides wilting at the fact that we were just going to have to watch this magical place fade in our rearview mirror. But then, against all odds, the van slowed down. Could it be? We slowly started chanting out loud and, as we turned into the parking lot of this magical place, the van erupted in cheers and ecstatic sobs. After filling ourselves with strawberry milkshakes and chocolaty treats for half an hour, we were on our way again with our spirits somewhat lifted. However, when the heady strawberry high left and we realized we were hot, sweaty, tired messes that had to preach that same night at a prayer service, our spirits took a strong dive.
We arrived at the service just praying to make it through without collapsing. Then God showed up. The service started out with 10 minutes of prayer and in those 10 minutes, the Holy Spirit completely refreshed us. He lifted us out of the dumpy place our spirits were in and encouraged us and gave us a shot of energy. Ruth and Lindsey delivered powerful messages and we prayed and prophesied over the congregation. We were taken out for dinner afterwards and ended our late night in a good place with some teh tarik (delicious tea) and a soft mattress. The rest of the week we preached our hearts out, sang and danced, prayed over everyone we came in contact with, and collapsed at night.
The point of this story? That God provides rest for your soul. There’s a deep exhaustion in your spirit that only God can get you out of. Like I said before, I’m beat. We all are. We get irritated with each other. We get tired of preaching. Of praying. Of kids’ ministry. Of team 
time. Of traveling. Of meeting another strange face. Of singing “Making Melodies� one more time. Yet, we are still doing it. It is month 11 and by God’s grace we are still doing what we came here to do. Our spirits and our flesh are weak but as we put one foot ahead of the other in faith, God is giving us the strength to keep going. Whether it’s chocolate covered strawberries or intimate prayer times with Him, when we are at our worst, He is there to pick us up and use us for His glory.
I know what Paul means when he says “it is Christ IN me.� I’m really not doing this anymore. There is no way that tired, no-makeup, afraid-of-public-speaking Sheila could do this month. I preached to 300-350 people for 40 minutes on Sunday morning. I’m telling you- I DON’T DO THIS. There’s no freaking way. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
