It is about time for me to update and let everyone know what’s going on with me and the World Race. A few months ago I got super confused about if I was supposed to go. I wasn’t sure about it at all anymore and pretty much flipped out about it. My brain calmed down, and I knew I had to seek the Lord completely to know if it is for sure what I am supposed to do. I went back and forth so much to thinking I was supposed to go to feeling like I am supposed to stay to just being apathetic. There’s a lot I could do for the Kingdom here, but there’s also a lot I could do on the Race if I am in fact following the Lord’s will. All I want is to serve God. I don’t care how or what just as long as I am for sure doing His will.
After months of my brain being calm to crazy to flipping out to wanting to go I had a realization- it’s about faith. Back when I applied I knew deep down I would have to go if I got accepted. The doubt came in, and my mindset went from when God provides the money to if God provides the money I will go. But God has been speaking to me- He wants me to have faith and believe that what He said will happen. This is what I want, and this is what I need. Sure, I can stay here and be used, but God wants to refine me. He has been speaking to me a lot about leadership. I am not a natural leader, but He wants me to step up and lead my generation.
In the past few years He has taught me so much about the Holy Spirit and following His promptings. I want to be in a place where I have to fully depend on Him and His promptings. I want to step up and lead. I want to be completely changed, wrecked, and ready for anything God asks me to do. Last week Lisa Roller (a fellow October World Racer and a good friend of mine) and I were talking about this and reading a lot of encouragements from other Racers and both just at the same time realized the whole faith thing and our brains changed. We prayed together, and we have made a commitment to this team. I will pursue the Race in complete faith unless God clearly shuts the door. It is wide open, and the only thing standing in the way is me and my unbelief. That day was a week ago from today, and ever since then I have been completely at peace and know I am supposed to pursue this opportunity. When I was doubting I was full of confusion and anxiety, but our God is not a God of anxiety and confusion. He is a God of peace, and He would give me peace about not going. When I claimed I would pursue this opportunity in faith the doubt left and the confirmation, joy, and peace came.
Today was one of the best days ever. I was super productive at work and amidst the productivity I got a phone call saying that I won 4 free burritos from Chipotle (my favorite place!) when I put my business card in a drawing. On my way home I got so totally pumped for the World Race and heard God speak a lot about it. He told me that yeah, I need to seek Him completely in raising the money, but He wants me to practice boldness now. He may tell me to ask random people for money, even if it’s just a dollar, but I have to be sensitive to His promptings and respond. He isn’t going to just hand it to me, but He will speak to me and lead me in getting it. I barely have any, but it will come! I can’t believe He has brought me to a place where I can say that and not throw a bunch of ifs in there, but He wants to build my faith. He was giving me all kinds of ideas of people to ask, and I HAVE to follow His promptings. Then my friend gave me a fortune cookie, and I opened it up and it said, “Your faith carries you through difficult times.” Whoa, thanks God!
I am so excited for the World Race, especially the glory that will be given to Him through the whole money raising thing. I know He will be glorified, and people will see Him provide. I just ask that people really ask Him if they are supposed to provide for me either financially or through prayer. He wants to use His people, and if we don’t respond He will just choose to use someone else. All I want is to speak the truth about Jesus to everyone and glorify Him in every single thing I do, and I want to be blessed by others’ disobedience and bless others by mine. Wooooo, God is crazy awesome!
