There has been a struggle that has been raging inside me for
a while now; one that I don’t really talk about. To be quite honest, one I feel
silly for even questioning or doubting.
Do I REALLY believe? Do I really believe EVERYTHING the
Bible says, EVERYTHING Jesus said?
Let’s think about this for a second. I grew up in the church
and can tell you bible stories I’ve been taught, scriptures I’ve memorized and
I can even sum up the Gospel for ya. And for much of my life, that was my walk
with God. But as I have begun to SEEK him, to get DEEPER into a relationship
with him, I learn more about God, about what he has done for us and what he has
given us and instructed us to do. The thing is, I find I struggle with it.
Now that I have been out of MY comfort zone for about 7
months now you’d think I’d have this thing figured out but I don’t. Growing up
I can remember hearing things in the Bible about people speaking in tongues,
people being healed, prophets and prophecy but to be honest until about a year
or two ago I wasn’t so sure these things happened any more. I mean I’d heard
stories of Christians outside of the US mostly having these encounters and so
forth but I just wasn’t so sure where these things belonged in MY life.
For 7 months now, this has been my struggle. Do I REALLY
believe? Do I have enough faith to believe?
I’ve witnessed people speaking in tongues. I’ve witnessed
people experiencing that for the first time. I’ve witnessed healings. I’ve
witnessed prophecy. I’ve witnessed demons being cast out.
And I know these things to be true, to be real.
BUT….I still find myself questioning, wondering.
Do I REALLY believe?
Do I really believe in…
“Ask and it will be given to you”
Matthew 7: 7
“he [Jesus] gave them [disciples]
authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal every disease and sickness”
Matthew 10: 1
“do not worry about what to say or how to
say it. At that time you will be given what to say”
Matthew 10: 19
“if you have faith as small as a mustard
seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Matthew 17: 20-21
“with God ALL things are possible”
Matthew 19: 26
“He [Jesus] said to them [disciples], ‘Go
into all the world and preach the good news to all creation… And these signs
will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they
will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when
they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their
hands on sick people, and they will get well.'”
Mark 16:15-18
“Don’t you believe that I am in the
Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my
own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me
when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me or at least believe
on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who
has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things
than these because I am going to the Father.”
John 14:10-12
Okay, hold up, wait a second! You, Jesus, are telling me
that I will do greater things than the miracles YOU preformed? Do I really
believe this?
“And I will do whatever you ask in my
name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for
anything in my name, and I will do it.”
John 14:13-14
“And I will ask the Father, and he will
give you another Counselor to be with you forever-the Spirit of truth…he lives
with you and will be in you…I live, you also will live. On that day you will
realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.”
John 14:16-20
“Don’t you know that you yourselves are
God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?”
1st Corinthians 3:16
“you will receive power when the Holy
Spirit comes on you”
Acts 1:8
“In the last days, God says, I will pour
out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young
men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.”
Acts 2:17
So, let me get this right…
I am Powerful. Since I have the Holy Spirit in me, God’s
Spirit, and the fact that Jesus is in me and I am in Jesus, and because Jesus
is in the Father and had the Father’s power, then I have the Father’s authority
and power to do things?
Then why is this not evident in my life? I mean I’ve prayed
to speak in tongues, I’ve prayed to for healings. Why don’t they happen? Do I
not have enough faith? Do I REALLY
believe?
Do you?
