August 24th, 2011
We were working on Jiggers today while my squad leaders, Sarah and Lucas were visitiing. There was a child screaming, kicking, crying because what we were doing was painful but we knew it was good for the child. We knew the child would be able to sleep, eat, walk, run, play after we were finished. All of a sudden Lucas looks at me and says, “Think about it, thats how we treat God sometimes, especially when he’s trying to teach us something.” He was so right!
See, the day before, we were out doing house to house evangelism, something I don’t really like because it is so different than what I am used to doing. After a conversation with my team about rotating who speaks when so that we all got a chance to speak, my teammate Laura and Lucas could tell I wasn’t happy. So, right there, outside the house we were to enter, they blocked my path. Our conversation went something like this:
Lucas: What’s wrong?
Me: I’m fine.
Lucas: You k now what fine means right? Frustrated, Insecure, Nervouse and emotional
Me: Lucas, I’m good
Lucas: No your not. What’s going on?
Me: Just like some people don’t like praying in a circle, I don’t like this. I don’t get scripture, I’m not good at memorizing it or finding verses to share.
Lucas: Stop worrying about whether you have the right verse. God wrote the Bible for his people therefore everything in it is for his people. Maybe not at this point in time but maybe when you share something and they hear it again later on they will get confirmation or maybe they’ll remember it later when they need it. God does speak to you. Are you willing to challenge him and tell him he doesn’t?
The conversation ended with me having to speak in 2 houses from the one we were at. Funny thing was that God gave us about a 30 minute walk to that house. How ironic!
When we got to the house the only verse that came to mind was what I had read during my morning devotional. I had my Bible open the entire time but just never spoke up until I heard the young girl had an exam that she was worried about.
I never got excited about speaking. In actuallity I was in a sour mood the whole day. 1) I don’t like being challenged to do things I don’t like. I get embarassed, ashamed and 2) I don’t like acknowledging or being praised for or encouraged for what I’ve done.
After seeing that child cry and hearing Lucas’ comment, I realized I treated God the same way. Maybe it is pride that made me sour all day. I don’t know. I know we, as human beings, dont’ like expressing weaknesses for we fear we are then seen as weak. Here, though, its a totally different attitude. You go through pain, you challenge people only to make them stronger in Christ. To help mold them to be more like Christ including me. I treated God the same way that child treated us and reacted towards us. I cried, I whined, I moaped. The thing is though God doesn’t hold us down as we held that child down. God just waits until we are ready. He keeps pulling at our hearts in hopes one day to mold us to who we wants us to be, to set us free.
