Normally, when it comes to blogging I struggle to write anything worth reading, but I keep with the struggle until something is produced – good or bad. However, this time I had tried to start and finish but couldn’t make it passed the first paragraph. In my frustration I said to God, “God, you’re going to have to give me something to work with,” and His reply was, “You are Peter.”
Excuse me.
I’m sorry, do you mind expanding on that thought?
What I gathered was that God was comparing me to the disciple that not only challenged Jesus with the whole, “Oh yeah, well, if you’re Jesus, call me out onto the water,” and then chickened out when Jesus accepted the challenge, but he also denied Jesus, not once, three times!
Needless to say, I was offended.
After hurrying to my room to be alone in prayer I asked Jesus to tell me why He called me Peter. This is what He said to me:
“You are Peter because you love me, but you don’t really know what completely loving me looks like. You genuinely follow me until I call you into the unknown, and you shutdown from fear. You ask me to take you there, but then dismiss my call. You’re faith ends where my challenge begins. Think about it. If I called you out onto the water, would you come? You love me, I have no doubt, but it’s time for you to trust me without a doubt.”
Uh… wow. Well, when you put it that way… you can just call me Peter.
You see, Peter did love Jesus. He loved Jesus so much that he said he would die with Him. The sad part is that he goes on to deny even knowing Jesus three times. Peter loved Jesus. He loved Jesus so much that he wanted to fight for Him in the garden when He was being arrested. He loved Jesus. I love Jesus. I love Jesus so much… until He calls me out of my comfort zone, and then I deny Jesus. I don’t deny knowing Him, but I deny Him calling me into deeper relationship with Him. I am Peter in the sense that I am “ye of little faith”.
It wasn’t Peter’s intent to be such a miserable failure at times, though. He really did have a passion for the Lord. He was smart and said intelligent things at times. He was a broken sinner, though. The cool thing about Peter is that even though he failed he was forgiven, and he would always get back up and take the next step with Jesus. He kept fighting and striving for more of Jesus. I am Peter in this way, too. Even though my faith fails, Jesus’ doesn’t. Jesus carries me where I am inadequate. I’ve been called to be bold, and to go beyond my own understanding.
Over these next eleven months I’m going to be challenged in some pretty crazy ways. Heck, I’ve already been challenged so much, and we haven’t even left America yet. Jesus is calling me deeper and deeper into relationship with Him, and He’s given me the boldness to take the leap of faith to trust in Him fully. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for all of us over these next eleven months.
Guys, if the Lord is calling you, listen. No matter how crazy and challenging. The more uncomfortable, the more growth. Every step I’ve taken on this journey has been so uncomfortable, but so rewarding. Don’t fight Him.
One major thing I’ve learned so far from this journey is this: When God shows you an area in your life that needs work, don’t wallow in your inadequacy, but take it to Him and ask Him to build you up in that area. Surrender your pride because sacrificing growth in the Lord to hold onto something so worthless will always leave you empty.
