As I think about the last year it is crazy how many times I heard God say “ It is time to trust me.” Yesterday I had one of those moments….
The place we are staying at in Romania has a kitchen that we expected to cook all our meals in. I was super excited. I love to serve people by cooking for them. So we went to the grocery store to load up on all the supplies. Even that seemed to be a lesson in trust for me because I tend to be a big time planner and this trip was anything but planned. At moments I felt like walking out of the store and straight to an airport. This seems a bit dramatic and I am fully aware of that now. As I listened to God, took a deep breath, and trusted this experience turned out to be just fine. We got back to our missionary housing and I began to make dinner. It was in that moment that I again realized how much I love serving these people, but I so long for my own family. Since I found out my four month trip had been canceled I have had a very hard time letting go of where I thought I should be relationship wise. Family means so much to me and when I think about having a loving Godly husband and a bunch of kiddos running around my heart leaps with joy. I know that God hears this in my heart, in fact He made me this way and that in His time I will get to sit in my home and watch my husband playing with my children. After dinner we all gathered to sing worship songs together and I was so over come with the loneliness of this idea that tears starting stream down my face. God was so sweet in this moment and all I heard was “ You can’t be the mother right now, because I am trying to take care of you.” WOW…. So I am doing my best to loosen my grip on my plan of marriage and realize that trusting in God’s plan is so much sweeter than I ever realized.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand”
Proverbs 19:21
