Since I was little I have always felt the calling of Isaiah, when God asked "Whom shall I send?" I have always responded , "Here am I send me!". Isaiah 6:8. I have impatiently waited for this moment to arrive. I would love to say patiently waited, but that would be lying…
Ever since I wanted to be a missionary, I wanted to go to Africa, and up until this point I had not been released there. God had me go through some pretty brutal training… brutal in the north american sense… He had me do something I did not want to do, and I did not like doing. I prayed often that I would not be like Jonah. I did not want to go into the place God placed me and be bitter, and want the people to suffer. I wanted to serve Him where ever He put me… even Espanola. Don't get me wrong, I love my small town. It just wasn't what I had planned for my life.
My picture of how life would turn out was after TACF, Africa… for 6-10 years. The see what would happen after that. Gods plan- Nursing for 4 years of schooling, 6 weeks of disaster as a new grad… failing my RN exam (am public humiliation…very humbling- note also the best year of my life), then 3 years of actual working as a nurse.
Over this last summer, I gave up on my dream. I had lost the drive for Africa, it seemed as though I would never be released. I thought I was stuck in Espanola forever. I decided just to "be" here. Be with my family, and coworkers. I had given up hope.
The December 2011 rolled around. I was sick for the 3rd time in 4 months with a nasty cold that lasted a whole month. During this time I spent time with God. I worshiped him from my bed, with the keenex handy. I then remembered the AIM organization and this trip. I watched the promotional video and cried once again… and decided that I would apply.
A lot of prayer followed that application, I asked for an LOA from work- was offered a nursing position with the Army (which I turned down without knowing the status of the LOA or if I was accepted to the race)… and then we waited and prayed some more.
God and I have a quirky relationship, I have had to do some pretty silly, hard things… but I have never been alone, and never been without. His faithfulness is incomprehensible to me. I don't deserve Him or His blessings, yet He continually pours them out. you just gotta love Him! God, I want what you want, no matter what!
