All I can say is wow! So much to tell all of you! Ok so I came to training camp with what I thought was no expectations. I hoped that I would encounter God… Actually I knew that I would, I just didn’t know what He would address…
First off I have a confession to make. September 2011 I saw an image in my head of me putting my heart on the shelf. I had given up on my dream of missions and thought I would be stuck in Espanola for the rest of my life. I didn’t give up on God, and I didn’t stop talking and worshiping Him… But my heart was no longer with me. Relationships at work began to gain tension, relationship with my roommate became tense… I didn’t know why or put the connection together at the time, but I knew that things were getting bad. Also I was sick the whole time.
As it turns out, God wants my heart with me… Who knew I needed a heart in order to show people His heart?
One night this week, during worship God just broke me. I bawled my eyes out and had the biggest snot drip from my nose(it was gross). When I tried to ask Him what it was about, I got no response…. The next morning during worship he gave me a vision (that’s the only way to describe it). He showed me how He personally took my heart off the shelf that I had put it on. He dusted it off, and blew new life into it. He then proceeded to put the heart in my chest. Once He had done that he began to explain to me the gifts that He has for me and each gift ( prophesy, love, worth, teaching, preaching, compassion, art, music and athletics), He placed each inside my chest and into my heart. Then He told me to follow Him and He led me by the hand through the forest and into a clearing. The view was amazing. He said to me. This is the place I have prepared for you. As I looked around I saw a mansion or castle, with leafy trees surrounding it. In front of that was a stream of clear blue water. By the stream was another tree and a picnic table. There was a volleyball court as well… We sat under the tree by the stream and I rested my head on His chest. Here he told me that it wasn’t about the things I wanted to do, or the worship I could give… All He wanted to to was hang out. Then He said I could come back here any time.
I rested there for I don’t, know how long. Worship continued all around me but I simply rested in that place with Jesus.
The rest of the week was continually amazing. God showed up everyday all day, through my tears, through my hunger and through my exhaustion. He was there and continued to grow in me His heart. His love. God has restored in me a hope I have not had in a long time, a trust that had been torn down, and a love that had been forgotten. Praise to Him who saves and never gives up!!!
