Georgia, Geor-gia… This song has been stuck in my head for weeks. Needless to say I have had Georgia on my mind. On friday I embark on an adventure, in which I will have the opportunity to meet my squad and learn about what we will be doing for 11 months. This has brought forward a whirl-wind of emotions, and also… lack of sleep…
There has actually been more than just the song Georgia on my mind suck in my head. Paul Brandt's songs "Risk", and "Learning How to Let it Go", have been mix-mashed in my brain. When I went on my iTunes account to find these songs to listen to, I found that there are many of his songs that are appropriate for my life right now. But I will stick to the two that I cannot seem to shake and talk about how they have made me think… and re-think. Here are some of the lyrics:
I’d rather live my whole life
with a sense of abandon,
Squeeze every drop out,
no matter what happens.
And not wonder what I've missed
I’d rather risk.
I'm learnin' how to let it go
I'm learning now that I was just a fool to ever think I had control
You took me heart and soul
Now I'm learnin' how to let it,
I'm learnin' how to let it go…
Now, these are by no means new releases… but the way they have hit me the might as well have been. (You should listen to the whole songs… really you should)… ok so lets start with risk: This song has been a challenge for me. I like to think that I am a risk taker, and people have told me that I am.—> But I am not… I weigh the pros and cons, then evaluate them, and then make my decisions. I do not live my life with a sense of abandon… and why not? Because I have not yet learned to let it go. I am still in the learning process. I am very much so connected to my family and talk to/see them daily (I call my mom everyday, I am living with my brother, and my sister is 2 doors down). We are a tight-knit group. I am going to miss them… a lot… I think about this opportunity and I know that it is Gods plan and purpose for my life. Yet there are still emotions of apprehension, nervousness, and worry.
These things are not bad per-say… but, they make me think and they cause my heart to hurt. I am going to miss my sisters 16th birthday, I am going to miss my brothers Canadian marriage vows, I am going to miss a whole year of life of my niece and nephews, I am going to miss my cousins wedding (he is close as a brother). I am going to miss my old life. When these thoughts enter my brain I start to wonder… what did I do with my old life? I wished and impatiently waited for this opportunity to come! Apparently I can never be satisfied with where I am. I have longed with every part of my being for this opportunity to let to world know how amazing my God is! The God of the universe, the God that this world has forgotten, abandoned or simply never knew existed. This God is real, He is alive, and He is doing great things! I wouldn't miss what He is doing for anything…
Back to the songs. They have challenged me to let go and let God. To live my life with abandon and squeeze every drop out no matter what happens! Let go of the things I hold so dear, the common things such as a quick hello on the phone, or the kids stopping by to play in the yard. Fushing toilets and hot showers. My life is breath by breath HIS. That is the challenge. Abandon the things that distract you from Him and focus on what He is doing now. ("live now" is another Paul Brandt song- Christian man… and Canadian.. and was a nurse… just sayin).
I guess, what has been happening is God is preparing my heart for what is to come, by allowing my to take each moment as it comes. Each precious encounter is to be enjoyed, and remembered. No worries, just peace and love in Him.
