Something that had been spoke over my training camp and squad was reconciliation. If you knew me you would say “Not Shauny” lol, because I don’t like to give up and to me forgiving people means to give up. Like why do I have to ALWAYS take the high road and let you get away with hurting me without you EVER being an adult and acknowledging my feelings and the hurt you’ve caused? It never makes sense to me even though I know what the word says ; “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
??Colossians? ?3:13? ?NLT??
Story time
So…..I had this friend from Middle school and we were inseparable like Thelma and Louise lol, she was more family than my actual family. We met at 11 years old and from the beginning we let each other in, telling secrets, fears, goals, strengths and weaknesses . She was my sister, we were supposed to stand with each at the altar when the other got married and was the God parents to each others kids. We vowed to do life together. Until one day that all changed, we were 21 years old and I was willing to throw all those desires aside because I was hurt by my BFF. Like dang how could she do me like that, my BFF was suppose to ALWAYS be there for me. She wasn’t. At this moment I came to the realization that my BFF failed me and I was heartbroken about it. However I had to be strong and cut things off and leave things as they were. I didn’t want to hear her side of the story or mend things I WAS DONE. This was my first real heartbreak so it was rough, honestly there was never a time where I told myself “we will never speak again” it just happened and it became easier year after year. However God said “Not in my house” lol -in his Mutombo voice. December of 2019 right before launching for the race the Lord laid it on my heart to reach out to her but I had no idea where to start. I used my detective skills and googled all the info I could on her and found out that she was getting GETTING MARRIED! So in my selfish and fleshy thoughts I said “she’s not even happy”. Why did I say that you might ask? Well here’s the thing I have always been the person that was confident, would fight everyone’s battles and act as if things didn’t hurt me. That was weak to be so “soft”! But honestly I was sad when I found out she was getting married and I had to find out through google! Like what a humbling position the Lord put me in, to have that feeling when I’m always putting on this facade of things not affecting me. So shout out to God for doing that for me and humbling me in that moment.
So I never got a chance to reach out to her because it wasn’t much information as far as an email or an address to be able to contact her. So January rolls around I leave the states and head to my first country. It never even came across my mind again about reaching out to her so I just assumed maybe the Lord didn’t mean “reach out to her” maybe he didn’t say anything at all, maybe it was just me. So boom I’m in my second country, Malaysia! One night after a long day at ministry I was literally sitting in my bed wondering why the heck I couldn’t sleep even though I was EXHAUSTED! I actually never prayed about why I couldn’t sleep I just was tossing and turning when no reason why. I got on social media, Instagram to be exact. I start tapping through my Insta stories and I get to her cousins page where I see WEDDING TIME and I’m like “clearly this is not her wedding LOL”. And lo and behold I see her walking down the Isle with her dad and in that moment my heart sank to my butt. I was actually hurt and extremely sad but WHY? At this point we haven’t spoken in seven years! Why would I think I would be invited to her wedding or if she even wanted me there, I’m losing my mind LOL. So I did a silly thing I went to her wedding website and write a simple message that said “I know we haven’t spoken in seven years but I wanted to congratulate you and I pray the Lord blesses this union”. You know simple and sweet lol!! Then things got a little more weird LOL, I go to her registry and my silly self buys her a welcome mat for her home. There are a lot of things that I do that I’m not ashamed about and I don’t get embarrassed about but yeah HIGHKEY I was very embarrassed LOL. Seriously though I believe the Lord wanted me to see that video of her walking with her dad to make it real, I also think he wanted me to reach out on the wedding website. Everything he did set me up for that moment and it’s crazy to think how a year ago this was never on my mind and I would’ve never done it. Well she reached out to me the next day and said she wanted to talk! WOW God!!!!
I don’t want to go into the details of our conversation because it’s personal. When I tell you that the Lord has been orchestrating this moment all these years you probably wouldn’t believe me. To know that someone who I thought I hated has been praying for me this entire time literally blows my mind! In the midst of us having our first conversation after seven years and hearing how the Lord revealed things to her and he finally brought it into full circle and reveal things to me in that moment it’s like wow! Something she told me was that we became unhealthy for each other and the Lord needed to separate us so that he could really speak to us and so that we could hear him. In that moment I realized That the Lord had prepared the both of us for that exact moment, at that exact time to have that exact conversation. I thank the Lord for what he did to reconcile this relationship and how this season of stillness during this pandemic we would be reconciled with one another.
Something I heard Pastor Jeremy Foster from Hope city church say this past Sunday was we have 3 things to do during this time. Lead, follow and Get out of the way!
Lead: Pray before the problem becomes a problem. My friend prayed for me even when I thought there was a problem, she had to pray for me for this moment of reconciliation.
Follow: If you don’t like the fruit that you’re bearing check the route. Because I didn’t like the fruit of our relationship it had to end but I had to check the roof of the problem and it was NEVER her. I had to release somethings to get to the root.
Get out the way: We had to get out of the way of ourselves and get out of the way of what The Lord was trying to do in our lives. We had to separate for God to work on us individually to bring us back to walk in his will and to glorify him with this relationship.
A MOVE HAPPENED!
It can happen for you too!
The world needs a move and God has put a pause in everyone’s life for this move to happen!
Who does the Lord want you to reconcile with in this season?
Wow God!! Thank you!
Oh yeah I’m back home.
