Okay. I really enjoy a lot of things. I love brownies, sleep, music, and sour patch kids. However, I LOVE hearing stories about what God has done in other people’s lives and how they see Him at work. I’m always encouraged, challenged, and amazed at what the Spirit is up to. During this season of Lent, a member of my church will be sharing a bit of their testimony each week. Amen! Welp, this past Sunday I had the great honor of sharing a bit of my story. I was really excited for the opportunity to worship God, by revealing His glory through my life!
Since I only had five minutes, I did not have time to share my entire story, so I created a Wordle to give a little bit of context regarding the things that have touched my life in some way.
As we are in this season of Lent, I was asked to share:
- When have I felt closest to God and
- How I’m drawing close to Christ now.
As I reflected on these two questions, I realized that the times in which I have felt closest to God were when I had to step out on great faith. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I can identify three clear points in my life where I have lived in this kind of faith.
My Conversion
PHOTO: Me and one of my best friends Kortney. She prayed with me the night I gave my life to Christ. Thanks BFFL!
It was three years ago this April and the end of my junior year of college that I committed my life to Jesus. This was a step of faith for me for several reasons. Fear played a role in this decision, particularly around the loss of relationships. See, I’ve always had a deep seated fear of loneliness and abandonment, so this was a significant factor for me. This was also a step of faith for me as I had a lot of unanswered questions around sexuality, gender roles, the “Christian lifestyle,” and ideas like grace versus works. However, what allowed me to take this step of faith was that I believed that God was good, He loved me, and that the Bible was true. With this foundation, I felt confident that in time Jesus would respond to my fears and resolve my unanswered questions. And He has!
Post-grad Discernment
The next time I felt closest to God was during my senior year of college. I was in the process of discerning what was to come after graduation and I was SO excited when I figured it out. A couple affiliated with my congregation was planting a church in New Orleans and I was going to go! It made so much sense. I was pumped by their vision, what I could learn, and how I could contribute. BUT, God.had.other.plans…of courseJ After much prayer, I felt to led to pursue a Master’s degree at Seattle University. As I’ve said, the clearest callings on my life have been missions, ministry, and justice. How does Seattle and studying college students for two years fit into that? Seriously? Anybody know? Me either..still! Anyway, I stepped out on faith and went even though it didn’t make sense to me, Seattle University was really expensive (God knows how I felt about the loan situation-we’ve worked on that though), and I was moving to a new place-away from my church, community, and family.
The World Race
Now, I am taking another step of faith as I have committed to the World Race. Faith is required in SO many ways on this one as well. For one, I have to believe that God sees something in me that I don’t. Although missions definitely fits into what God has revealed to me about my life, since being in Seattle, that conviction has waned. I’ve believed Satan’s lies that I’m inadequate; have nothing to offer, and undeserving of such an opportunity. So, again I’m trusting that in time God’s truth will speak louder than the lies and for now I’m moving forward. I also have to raise $15,500 to cover the costs of this trip. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of money to me. This part is particularly hard for me because I have grown to be pretty independent. I started working at 14 so that I wouldn’t be a financial burden to my mother and this hasn’t changed. I don’t like asking people for help, let alone money. Relying on God for this is super duper hard! Tied to this is also the reality that I won’t be earning any money on the field. Yep, for a whole year I won’t be bringing in any money. Yikes! Please God have a great paying job ready from me when I step off of the plane! Please? Still working in that oneJ Lastly, this is a great step of faith for me as I will be completely out of my comfort zone. I’ve never been out of the country, lived out of a backpack, moved 11 times in one year, or been surrounded by people 24/7 for 11 months straight.
In each of these moments I have had to relinquish control, abandon my plans, and trust God wholeheartedly. As I have entered this particular season of Lent I am drawing close to Christ by getting back to the basics. I am rediscovering who God is and as a result learning who I am. This past year God has rescued me from depression, suicidal thoughts, spiritual oppression, and sin. Such an encounter with God has completely shifted and deepened my appreciation and gratitude for who He is, the depths of His love for me as demonstrated in Jesus' sacrifice, and the power of the Gospel to heal and restore which is demonstrated through the Resurrection of Jesus. I mean, that’s what Lent is for me this year. A gentle reminder of how much God desires to be in relationship with me. Lent declares that a relationship with me is worth dying for. So my response is to no longer throw up my hands at the first sign of trouble or so easily find comfort in Satan’s lies, but to fight for all that the Spirit wants to do in and through me. Funny thing is, for the first time, I can rest in my salvation as I finally get that Jesus has already won the war. Amen!
Oh yeah, I'm also re-reading Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life"-I highly reccommend it:)
What in your life requires faith?
How are you drawing close to God during this time in your life?
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I still need $15,129.07 to cover the cost for this trip. If you are able to support me financially, click "Support Me" on the left to make a tax-deductible donation. Or, cut out the small online processing fee by mailing a check to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
Checks should be made out to "Adventures in Missions".
***Put "PERKINSSHATERIKA" in the memo line of the check***
