Let’s be honest. I “became a Christian” because I saw it as my way out.
The journey described in this post was inspired by a recent message given at my church here in Gainesville. Check it out here: Holiday Head Start: Part 2 from Mountain Lake Church Gainesville on Vimeo.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was lonely, afraid of the person I was becoming & where my life was headed. Depression, insecurity, and fear were my closest companions. It wasn’t the first time I heard the story of Jesus and how he came into this world to give new life, new hope, and new joy. But it was the first time I found myself this desperate and nothing else I tried satisfied. So, I thought, maybe I should finally give this Jesus thing a try.
So, that’s my confession. I chose a relationship with Jesus because of what it could do for me. Ask anyone who follows Jesus why they chose this path and you’ll most likely hear a similar response.
The truth is, like many Christ followers, I still battle this consumer approach to my faith. Sometimes I still find myself looking to the church, Christian community, music, books, even my very relationship with God as things there for my personal satisfaction and to meet my own needs.
It’s immature. It’s childish. I really need to grow up.
Although I entered into my relationship with Jesus through selfish motivations, more and more I’m realizing the irony in that ultimately, the call into relationship with Christ is a selfless one.
Yes, there is a lot in it for us. God does want to heal us, free us, give us hope and a purpose for life. Yes he graciously provides for us and shows us the path to a life worth living. But, can we stop pretending that it ends with us? Can we be real and acknowledge that this walk with Christ is about more than just what we can get out of it?
One of my favorite things about Jesus is that he doesn’t ask us to do anything that he himself is not willing to do or that isn’t the very best for us. God himself is so generous and demonstrates the ultimate example of loving sacrificially while living selflessly. He gave up everything to put his love on display and make a way for all people to know their creator and experience a level of joy, love, peace, and hope we can find nowhere else. A really cool part of Jesus’ example is that his selflessness and generosity wasn’t simply reserved for the “big moments” such his brutal death on the cross. There was evidence of it as he moved about in his day.
In my own life, I’m starting take God’s command of generosity and selfless living more seriously. Like Jesus I don’t want it to only be evident in the “big moments” of my life such as traveling the world for a year to love on the “least of these.” I want it to show up in the in-between moments that make up most of life.
Jesus is the most generous and selfless person I know and it seems that he also experienced more joy, peace, and purpose than anyone I know. So, could it be that the very thing that drew us to Christ–our own needs and desires–isn’t enough to keep us in relationship with him? I can write books worth of examples of the ways God has provided, healed, and taken care of me. Yet, I find myself in the same place I did when I first met him–desperate, unsatisfied, and yearning for something more.
I’m ready to fully try it his way. Like Jesus, I’m crazy enough to believe that the deeper joy, peace, purpose and satisfaction I seek will come as I live more like he did. I’ve already seen glimpses of this in my life.
A few weeks ago me and my roommates were generous with our time as we went door to door to introduce ourselves to our neighbors and offer to pray with them. I met a single mom who didn’t know how she would pay the bills or provide for her family. We prayed specifically that she would find a higher paying and more stable job. I saw her last week and she’s moving. Initially I feared she was evicted. But nope! She got a higher paying and stable job in a nearby town. Recently I’ve been more selfless with my finances. A close friend loves to paint, but hasn’t in a long time. She’s been in a tough season with God and having a hard time hearing him. I felt prompted to encourage her to start painting again as I sensed God wanted to meet with her in that special place. Not only did I encourage her with my words, I also gave her money to start rebuilding her painting supplies. She’s been painting like crazy and it’s bringing her so much joy.
I’ve been pondering the centrality of generosity and selflessness in the Gospel message and Kingdom of God. Could it be that the very reasons we entered into a relationship with Jesus is the very thing that needs to die in us? Is it possible that it’s the very thing keeping us stuck in immaturity and a lack of true intimacy with our Father. Could it be that a commitment to move from selfishness and consumerism to selflessness and generosity is the very thing needed for us to step fully into the plans and purposes God has for us and those around us?
I am still struggling to mature in this way. However, as I continue to pursue thinking of myself less and seek more opportunities to be a blessing to others in day to day life–I am finding that the biggest irony of it all is that the more I think of others, the more I find myself and the more joy I find in my relationship with Christ. His ways really are perfect, aren’t they?
In what ways can you move from being less of a consumer in your relationship with Jesus to living more selflessly and generously?
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