It was our first week in Nepal. The organization we worked with hosted a soccer game and lunch for kids who live on the streets. As we were setting up, we saw a man limping and hunched over from the distance. He approached us and asked what we were doing. After a few minute we were asked to pray for his leg.
?We quickly learned he was not Christian, so in addition to praying for his leg, we prayed for a life-changing encounter with Jesus.
?Soon into praying for his leg a big smile came across his face as he shared that in fact he was healed! We began to talk with him and we learned that he heard of Jesus. In fact, he used to go to church and almost gave his life to Christ. When asked what changed his mind, he admitted his son didn?t want him to become Christian. Sounds simple enough.
?He allowed us to continue to pray for him. As we continued to cry out to God on behalf of this 70 year old man, I sensed a strong spiritual battle at play. He wanted to accept Jesus, but there was something more with his son. It wasn?t so simple. Eventually, I asked him more questions about his relationship with his son. He shared that his son is paralyzed and he is the only one to take care of him. He felt that if he went against his son?s wishes and became a Christian, his son would feel abandoned. In the end, our friend said with his own mouth that he believed in Jesus. That he believed that Jesus was the true God. When we asked how he knew, he responded very practically. ?Well, I?ve prayed and prayed to my gods and they never healed my leg. Also, I?ve never felt this peace in my heart before.?
?After all the praying, healing, and revelation he received, the man left, choosing not to accept Jesus. It was one of those moments that have the potential to discourage you. To crush you. To make you cry out to God, ?why did you give us free will?? He was thisclose!
A Familiar Scenario.?
This wasn?t the first time I encountered this all too familiar scenario. 3 years ago I was a senior in college. It had been about 6 months since I decided to follow Jesus and I went to bed that night unprepared to come face to face with the person I was before.
I was well asleep when I was awakened suddenly by an ongoing painful scream. I jumped out of bed and looked outside the window and saw two of my friends walking towards my apartment. The friend screaming out in pain was limping, it looked like she had been hurt in some way. I ran to open the door and helped walk her into one of the bedrooms. My friend was clearly distressed. Her cries clearly reflected her physical pain caused by what I soon learned to be a twisted ankle. Even louder, however, was her cry for help. She was in a state of emotional pain that I never knew was there.
I didn?t know what to do, so I started to pray. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to stay with my hurting friend.
As I prayed internally, I immediately realized I was in the midst of a spiritual battle much stronger than I realized. While I sat on one side of my friend, trying to comfort her and find out what was triggering such a strong emotional response, our other friend tried to affirm her by saying things like ?you got wasted, but at least you have a story to tell.?
My friend continued to cry out things like ?I?m tired of living like this? and ?I want my life to look different.? She poured out all of her insecurities and the constant disappointments experienced from a life apart from God. I looked at her and genuinely professed ?you can have a different life? in Jesus.? I remember this poignant moment when she turned and looked me right in the eye and said ?I want what you have. Since you found God, you?re so full of joy. You have purpose. You?re different and your life is different. I want that.?
I pleaded with her as I told her she could have that and more. I was so sure she would give Jesus a chance that night. Instead, the conversation came to a close when she shared why she couldn?t follow Jesus. It was simple. Her friends and family didn?t believe in Him and she didn?t want to ?leave them behind.? My heart broke. Like this man I would meet 4 years later, she saw and felt the love of Jesus, but refused to receive it because of a fear of what those closest to her would think. She saw what her life could be, yet she chose not to pursue it.
In this, I am learning that one of satan?s most powerful schemes is to convince us that the costs of following Jesus is too much. ?Many of us succumb to the fear of losing those dear to us instead of having faith in the unfailing love of God. A love keenly aware that relationship with Him and others is our deepest need and will meet that need in ways we can?t even imagine. Ironically, in ways we could never experience without Him at the center. I mean, He did He created us!
The fear and reality of losing loved ones to follow Jesus is real. I know because it was my biggest fear come true, but gratefully it didn?t end there. Read part 2 to see how my decision to follow Christ influenced relationships with my loved ones.
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