I woke up this morning and it finally hit me. For the past three months talk of life after the World Race increased and for the last month it’s consumed most. In the midst of trying to find a balance of staying present in the day-to-day while also completing the menial tasks associated with transitioning home, I found myself in an a gray area. I know it’s time for the World Race to come to an end, but I wasn’t quite ready to return home. This morning however, I felt a shift. I awoke with a sense of loss in my spirit that was quickly met with expectation and excitement that I would soon be “home.”
As I talked with God this morning I simply sat in awe. I allowed myself to have one of those rare moments of silence and solitude and allowed Him to show me the significance of this moment. I thought about how I had been living in a dream fulfilled. I remembered how much I desired to do the World Race, but doubted it could happen. I vividly recall moments of severe unbelief that God would come through and that I was worth $16,258. I remembered the fear and feelings of inadequacy to be chosen for such a privileged position as this: to be an ambassador of Christ to the nations and those at home while serving my squad mates as a team leader. The hardships of this past year came upon me and I chuckled as I remembered the times I felt I wouldn’t make it. That I wouldn’t complete this journey.
Then, I smiled as memories of God’s love and His Kingdom enamored me. This past year God used my squad to be ministers of healing, feeding, hope, deliverance, and reconciliation. Whether we were preaching, teaching English, spending time with prostitute, gangsters, or drug addicts, praying for youth and children, or blessing our ministry hosts with our remaining funds, God allowed us to see that in fact He can use anyone to further His Kingdom. We now know that God’s love goes wherever we go and His love is sufficient on its own to breakthrough and dismantle the darkness. It’s amazing what can happen in one month!
In my own life, this past year brought me face to face with my own brokenness and deeper need for Jesus. God allowed me to see the depths of my emotional wounds, idolatry, and struggle to give and receive love. These were painful times. These were crushing moments. But, I quickly learned that God reveals our wounds, not to hurt us, but to heal us. I’ve learned that Jesus takes His promise of abundant life seriously for His children and He will stop at nothing to make sure we have it, if we allow Him too.
Serving as a team leader for the past 11 months has completely redefined my understanding of leadership. It’s not about me. It’s not about us. It’s about God. It’s about His Kingdom. My deep love for the Body of Christ was reawakened and deepened. I long to see the people of God unified, healthy, and taking their call as ambassadors of Christ seriously and with joy. I finally understand that this requires me to be a leader who is in fact willing to lay my life down for my brothers and sisters, serve and not seek to be served, and to submit to the Holy Spirit.
I have learned not only the value of, but the necessity of Christian community. This past year, I have been blessed by the men and women of W squad. Not only for the many fun moments and inside jokes to last a lifetime, but because they were truly family. They loved me, fought for me, and showed me more grace than I can fully comprehend. They have built me up and helped me see the unique way God created me to glorify His name in this world. It is because of this journey together I am returning home with more faith, intimacy with God, and greater expectation of what God can and desires to do in the U.S. There is truly no one else I would have wanted to share this last year with.
God then, shifted my focus back to what’s in front of me. Home. A word that now means much more than my address. In fact, I now know that I can have home wherever I am. This makes the unknown of the future much easier to face. However, there is something incredibly special about the “home” I am going back to. In just two days I begin the process of coming face to face with those I haven’t seen for a year. My heart was filled with gratitude at the many people-some strangers-who have also loved and fought for me this past year. Your prayers, financial giving, and words of encouragement have kept me. I know I could not have made it if it was not for you. I am so excited to see you all and share with you the countless ways your support has in fact sown so much love, peace, and hope in the world. Thank you for sending me. Thank you for trusting me with such a precious opportunity. Get ready to laugh. Prepare yourself to cry. I have many stories to tell and we have much to celebrate. WE did it!
Our squad heads back to the U.S. tomorrow. We are traveling from Cape Town, South Africa to New York City, with a layover in Dubai. Please keep us in your prayers as we travel home and as we travel from New York to hometowns!
MAKE A DONATION: I still need $1,979 to meet my first deadline for the Adventures Fellowship Program. My first deadline is September 1st is approaching quickly. If you are able to support me financially, click “SUPPORT ME” on the left to make a tax-deductible donation. Or, cut out the small online processing fee by mailing a check to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 742570
Atlanta, GA 30374-2570
Checks should be made out to “Adventures in Missions”
***Put “PERKINSSHATERIKA” in the memo line of the check!!!!!***
