I want to write a blog about my journey with the Holy Spirit and what I learned while in Peru.
I grew up familiar with Holy Spirit and His gifts. However, God challenged me last month in Peru that I viewed Holy Spirit as some energy or power and not as a person. I viewed Him as a means to an end and not someone to get to know.
First, I need to share some back story leading up to Peru. I grew up being a perfectionist and following all of the rules. I applied this logic to my approach with humans and God. However, God has been opening my eyes to the truth about the freedom in His kingdom through doing Bible studies during the Race on Galations, Ephesians, and Romans.
God used these books to explain to me what the Law was and it’s purpose (on a basic level, I’m not claiming to be an expert). Seriously, give Galatians a read. It is amazing at explaining the Law’s purpose. Basically, the Law was meant to act as a guardian of sorts for us until faith in Jesus was revealed. Righteousness is not gained by following the Law (rules and being perfect) but through faith. Under the new covenant we are no longer under the Law.
I found myself asking how I was supposed to live a good life without all of the set rules to live by? Freedom can be a bit scary. Suddenly the world was opened to me and it felt big and overwhelming. Then I caught the revelation in Romans 8 that we are meant to live by the Holy Spirit for our guidance instead of strict inflexible rules.
In order to live a full life I need to get to know who Holy Spirit is. He is my helper and points me back to Jesus.
Peru was simultaneously one of the most challenging and best months for me. Let me tell you, I was a hot mess emotionally and not a nice person to my teammates.
I decided that mornings before ministry started would be my introversion (alone) time. One morning I was feeling extremely introverted and did not want to talk to anyone. Someone made the mistake of talking to me and I about exploaded on the inside and was short with the person. I sat down and had to have a chat with God. God told me that needing to have quiet time was not an excuse to be rude to people.
Another morning I wanted to run away before anyone could talk to me but I felt like God was telling me to stay in the room. I replied that it felt like a piece of me would die if I did that. God replied, “exactly you are supposed to die to your flesh each day.”
I argued that my introversion time was a self-preservation method that I needed. God revealed that this designated time had become a figurative wall that I had put up to guard myself from others and exhaustion. I was not letting anyone past it. It was time for it to come down. But if I didn’t have my walls up how would I live and survive?
God gave me the analogy that life without my walls of protection up was like life without living under the rules of the Law. I asked God, if I didn’t have those then how would I stay protected? The answer He gave was the same answer He gave to living in the New Covenant freed from bondage under the Law, live by the Holy Spirit. “But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code” (Romans 7:6). By dying to these walls/rules and laying them down, I was free to me to live in communion with Holy Spirit and have Him guide me in each unique situation with exactly what I needed to do and know. I thought it was so cool how God made that parallel in my life to what I had just learned in the Bible.
After that time I really started to rely on Holy Spirit to help guide me in my interactions with people and help my emotions. I felt so much closer to Him. He would give me nudges on what to say and how to approach situations. He really helped me.
I also did a YouTube series study on Holy Spirit by John Bevere (I highly recommend it) with some teammates. That was an amazing time of learning about Holy Spirit. After each video we would ask Holy Spirit to give us a homework assignment based on what we learned in the video that day.
I really saw God move through asking Him what He wanted to do. One assignment He gave me was to begin doing prayer walks in the classrooms and property at the after school program where we were doing ministry. These kids were a little unruly. He also said to ask Him for ideas and wisdom on how to help the children in this program. A few of them in my class seemed to have some form of learning disability.
I’m not saying that the kids were perfect angels after praying but I do believe the prayers helped and would continue to be remembered by God for the kids in the future. Also, God gave me patience to help the children and my teammate, who was a second grade teacher, was able to pull these children aside for one-on-one tutoring to help them work on their fundamentals. It was incredible! Those changes and breakthroughs were due to listening to Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Peru was not an easy month for me emotionally or in ministry but in the end I was very happy in it. I think a big part of that was because I chose to press into Holy Spirit and He helped me so much. Sometimes it’s the things we choose to fight for and not the easy things that mean most to us. I owe it all the God’s leading.
I want to continue to learn who Holy Spirit is and how to live by His leading. It truly is an intimate journey God has called us on with Him. I have expectant enthusiasm when I look forward to relying on His help and love to guide my day to day.
As always, I invite you to make my journey, your journey. Here are three simple ways:
1. The most important, PRAY. Prayers are so needed and appreciated!
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