While I was in Myanmar my team was asked if a few of us could give our testimony at church. This wasn’t the first time my team had been asked to do that but I had never volunteered before. I have honestly struggled in the past with feeling like I didn’t have a testimony because it wasn’t as flashy as some other people’s. However, I really felt like God was telling me that it was time for me to tell my story. So I shared on Sunday and would also like to share my and Jesus’ story with you as well.
(Sharing my testimony)
My testimony is about discovering the transforming love of Jesus.
Growing up I dealt with a lot of fear. Mostly fear about being rejected by people. This caused me to be shy. I never let people close to me. It also kept me from doing fun activities and experiencing life to the fullest.
I was also afraid of being rejected by God. I thought I had to be perfect to please Him. I was scared to make a mistake or choose the wrong life path. Because of this, I didn’t really do anything or take risks. That way I couldn’t do something wrong. All of this made me unable to be me and live a prosperous and full life.
I grew up a Christian. I remember always praying for God to take away the fear but it never left me. I was sad, upset, disappointed, and felt abandoned by God.
I always thought that the opposite of fear was faith. So I would to try to have more faith and really believe God each time prayed. However, after each prayer the fear would still be there. I became disappointed and would condemn myself because no matter how hard I tried I didn’t have enough faith the get rid of the fear that kept me in chains.
One day, I was singing a worship song with my friends that had lyrics from the Song of Solomon in it. It was about being in love with God like a bride and groom. I was confused by that kind of love with God. So I asked God to teach me what it meant to love Him like a bride.
That started a journey with God that changed my life, my perception of Him, and my relationship with Him.
God pursued me with His love for years after that prayer. Slowly, He broke down the walls that I had put up to guard my heart from being hurt. I eventually began to experience and understand God’s love for me like His bride.
God also used a pastor to reveal another important step in my journey to freedom. This pastor quoted 1 John 4:18 to me. It says that “Perfect love casts out fear.” When I heard that scripture I was like, “Wait, love is the opposite of fear!? Not faith?” This radically changed my way of thinking and therefore my whole outlook on life and God.
1 John also says that God is love. So God, all that He is, and his perfect love for us sets us free from fear.
I remember the first time that I realized that I could live in freedom from fear. I was driving to a Bible study at a new church by myself. I was so nervous about going alone because I would have to meet and be with all of those new people. Then I remembered that Jesus loves me and will take care of me and He will never leave me (Deuteronomy 31:6). In that moment, the anxiety about the night disappeared because I knew that His love would take care of me. Right then and there I fully understood that verse “perfect love (Jesus) casts out all fear” because I knew He would always take care of me.
Not only did my interactions with people change but they changed with God as well. I was striving to be perfect with God so that He wouldn’t leave me. I eventually came to the point where I had to look my own sin and imperfections straight in the eye and realize that I could not overcome them on my own. I couldn’t “hide” them from God anymore. I got up the nerve to ask God for help and instead of being met with judgement and disappointment like I had anticipated I was met with His love and strength to overcome. Because of that experience I am now able to face God with my short comings and receive the help I need (Hebrews 4:16). One of my favorite verses to remember on hard days is, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). God loved me when I was still ugly with sin and chose to fight for me. He won’t get scared and run. How could I hold back from that love?
Fear didn’t disappear all at once from my life and I honestly still have to battle it occasionally in different forms. But I just remind myself that God loves me and will take care of me and because of that confident hope I am able to move forward trusting in His perfect love.
I am very passionate about the love of God. I have found that it is the key to living the life you were created for without fear. I want to tell people this truth so that they don’t stay in the bondage of fear. I challenge you to ask God to give you a revelation of His extravagant love for you.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died- more than that, who was raised to life- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:31-39)
Jesus’ love has freed me to make awkward fun memories like this with wonderful friends in amazing places!
If you have any questions or would like to discuss this more with me please feel free to reach out to me via email, Facebook Messenger, or WhatsApp.
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