Day 3 of ministry brought even more heartwrenching stories. First of all, we had to climb through what I would consider part jungle. Palm trees, green lush forest, and the smell of the wet dew mixed with fresh plants. There were extremely steep slopes to venture up and down that almost seemed impossible to climb with the past rain. Fortunately, that morning no rain had come, so the ground was not drenched. During the rain, I picture the children reaching home through mudsliding. This path was the only way in or out of the area. At the bottom of the slope, there was a rippling flowing spring. That sound could put me to sleep.
After much more climbing, I saw that the only entrance and exit was through here. Remember the children I said walked 12 km a day? These children walked as far but up and down steep, muddy hills. They walked 4 times a day in their school uniforms, hoping not to trip and fall. What we found at the peak of the next hill was not great inspiration to reach the top. The houses were similar to the ones we had found before, but there were few of them. Many of the children did not have a large community to go home to.
There were numerous heartbreaking stories through this, but one in particular left me extremely disheartened. A mother broke down in tears when I asked her about recent changes in their lives. Usually the women or children do not cry until two questions later when I ask for prayer requests. This struck me really deep because something intense had to be going on in her life. The translator at first said that the woman and her husband had misunderstandings because the woman was a follower of Jesus. She continued saying that she loved attending the lessons and learning about God, but many times her husband prevented her from going. This woman thirsted for Jesus. She said that she felt so much joy when hearing the Word of God. I had to think for myself at this point if I had that much joy in listening to the Word.
I continued with the interview once she calmed down somewhat. From what I had understood, she and her husband did not see eye to eye on things because she was a believer and he was not. By the final question, however, my viewpoint had completely changed. This woman began spilling more tears than I could even bare to see. She said that her husband often came home drunk and they had "misunderstandings." At that point, I knew better than that word they had chosen. I turned to the interprator and asked, "Does that mean her husband hits her?" She just nodded with a quiet "yes."
This woman began crying so much that my heart was shattering at her tears. I prayed harder for her than I had for anybody else. As I prayed and hugged her, she just sobbed even harder. Her prayer request above everything was that Jesus would chase after that man. Pray deeply for that because I know that God can reach his heart and make him into a wonderful man of God.
I left that house feeling like the worst sister in the world. This woman was a fellow believer crying out for help, and all I could do was leave her there in that situation. I couldn't bring her with me. Where would she go? Where would her children go? She couldn't just leave because her husband brought in the (little) money, and she would have no way to provide for her children. I felt like another person who just sees the hurt and pain but does nothing about it. My heart was so heavy after that, but my teammates spoke encouragement to me. They pointed out that sometimes the best thing you can do for somebody is to pray for them. Had you said that to me 6 months ago, I would have thought that you were giving a "churchy" answer. I had never really seen prayer work to THAT extent. Now, I 100% agree with that. I know that God can chase after that man's heart and make him a completely new person. I know that God hears her cries every time her husband beats her for following Jesus. I know that because of this suffering, her reward in heaven will be great.
Part of me still remains discouraged when I remember this moment, but God has taught me something through this. I always want to fix things myself, but I have to let Him be the Ultimate Fixer. I have to be hands-off in this situation and trust that God knows what He is doing. When I think I know the best way to fix something, that is a lie. Jesus is the only One who truly knows what that family needs. That woman has found her Protector and her true Husband who would never harm her. God told me that my role is to PRAY, and nothing more. I am not her protector. I am not her savior. I am not her redeemer.
[Yes, I do believe that Christians often sit by and do nothing when they should step in. I also think that the Holy Spirit gives us wisdom on these issues. Pray and Jesus will tell you what to do; He told me what to do.]
