**So I originally started writing this the day before I left Louisiana for launch in Atlanta and then my flight to China. It has taken me almost 2 weeks to post, but let’s pretend like I wrote this as I left home 🙂 **
Loses
As I prepare to leave and say goodbye, I’m thinking about all the people, places, and opportunities I’m letting go or “losing”. I’ll be away from family and friends, miss birthdays, holidays, and graduations, and leave the comforts that are so easy to take for granted but so quick to miss when far from home. Part of me finds it so hard to leave right now but the other part knows that staying is not an option.
Tears
I’m not really a crier and my family was actually surprised when I cried as I left, but at some point, I just broke down in sadness for all the things I was leaving behind. It was painful and it hurt, but I reminded myself that tears are good. They are therapeutic in that they help you grieve for things left behind but also prepare you for the good that lies ahead. Your tears create a pathway to the future and as much as I’ll miss my past, my future in Christ holds too much promise.
Love
No matter how much I wanted to stay with my family and friends and hold to the comfortable, I say that staying is not an option because I know that God has called me to more. This mission trip is not about traveling or discovering myself but is ultimately about God's love for me and Him calling me to something more. I can leave behind everything and everyone because I’m chasing after The One. God’s love is pulling me along this journey and He wants to do so much through me and in me that I can’t hold back because I don’t want to lose things.
In Matthew 19:29 Jesus says this:
“And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property for my sake will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life.” (New Living Translation)
I want to receive a hundred times the love that I’m leaving behind and inherit a life of deep love and adventure with Jesus. I am so ready for a love adventure with Him across the world and I know that what we will do together in these next 11 months with exceed and surpass anything that I could have accomplished by holding onto home and not suffering through the hard loses. They were necessary so that now I can have freedom to pursue God fully for the next year.
I may not want to leave those I love, but I love God more. So where He's leading me, I'm excited to follow and my loses and tears are the bread crumbs ill leave behind to find my way home.
I’ll see everyone in 11 months <3
