Compassionate. Loving. Kind-hearted. Caring. Encouraging. Deep. Honest. Sensitive.
For many years, being sensitive was a character trait that I used to define myself. Tears would come at the most inconvenient times. No one understood why words hit me so hard. I’d get frustrated and question why God made me take things so personally. I wanted to be able to just brush over comments like everyone else did without taking them to heart. Lately, God’s been showing me that my heart, which feels deeply and hurts easily, is a gift. He allows me to experience the hurt and pain that He feels from worldly injustices. He uses it as a tool of discernment.
Letting my sensitivity shake my days, however, is not what God intended. When comments are made that would previously provoke tears, I take them to the Lord and allow Him to speak truth. I am able to discern what is being said by testing if it is Biblical. I’m learning to love those who make harsh comments or use aggressive tones towards me. I’m learning that it isn’t all about me. They may be having a hard day or be frustrated. I can give grace and show love in those situations. I’m learning to surrender those comments and feelings of attack to the Lord instead of allowing myself to dwell on them for the whole day. He is using my sensitivity to help me discern what is or is not from Him.
I like my sensitivity because I feel things deeply.
I like my sensitivity because it makes me compassionate towards hurt and injustices.
I like my sensitivity because it allows me to walk fully in the freedom Jesus offers me.
I like my sensitivity because it helps me discern good fruit and bad fruit.
I like my sensitivity because it empowers me to empathize with others deeply.
My sensitivity is a gift because He uses it to bring out brokenness in this world. He gives me an opportunity to speak Life instead.
Psalms 139: 13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
He crafted me by hand. With intention. With confidence. With Love. Why would I want to hide or wish any part of that away?
Please pray that I would use my sensitivity to bring the Kingdom and fight the urge to play the victim.
I encourage you to find the truth behind any lie that you’ve told yourself. I encourage you to seek Him when you don’t understand why you were created a certain way. I’d love so much to hear what He reveals to you.
Ministry and Life Update:
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My team and I have been teaching english to 5th and 6th graders on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday at a nearby Buddhist and Muslim school. We coach volleyball on Thursdays. Volleyball ministry gives me life. I love the excitement and determination in their faces. The kids are incredible. They have the most joyful spirits and the biggest hearts. We only have 3 more days with them before we move to a new ministry site down the road. Those goodbyes will be so hard. I will miss being called “teacher” in the cutest accent ever. We are with YWAM again so our afternoons are spent helping them with upkeep of the place of worship that God has provided them. Our ministry hosts are incredible and God has blessed us with people who genuinely love the Lord and are pursuing Him daily.
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It’s month 3!!!! Next week we are moving to a new ministry site with a new church- we have no idea what to expect but thankfully, Jesus would have wrecked those expectations in the best way anyways. After a week, we will head down to Phuket for 10 days to help a church with their Christmas services and some other ministry.
Some days are hard and some days I don’t want to ever end. This is a beautiful life and I am thankful every moment that I get to live it.
Thank YOU for your support and encouragement. I would not be here without you.
I apologize for the lack of blog posts- i’ll be working on posting more often! Thanks for being patient! Love you all!!
