Lately, God has been talking to me a lot about His character and what that means for me.
I think it is pretty common for racers on the field to think things such as,
“I’m not wise enough to preach on Sunday.”
“I’m not qualified to talk to these prostitutes.”
“I don’t know enough about the Bible to talk to these villagers.”
“I don’t know enough Spanish to effectively teach these kids English.”
“I’m not good enough with words to pray out loud in front of a large group of people.”
“I’m not fun enough to play with kids.”
There are so many more that some of us don’t even know we are wrestling with. For me, it has been all of the above. To put it simply, I haven’t felt qualified enough to do the ministry the Lord has called me to do.
These were the lies the enemy was pounding into my head and they were starting to seep deep into my heart. The lie of not being enough. I started believing that this is actually what defined who I am and what ministry would look like day to day.
Last Sunday, while at church at Shoreline City Antigua, Pastor Andrew shared on Matthew 14:13-21 where Jesus feeds the 5,000. I’ve heard this story a million times and I’ve heard countless sermons on it, but never has it hit me the way it did on that Sunday morning.
If you haven’t heard the story, here’s a short summary:
The disciples approached Jesus, knowing there was not enough food to feed all 5,000 of the people who gathered to hear Jesus speak. But instead of sending them home, Jesus told the disciples to feed them. And when they expressed their not enough, Jesus said, “bring it to me.” Once they brought their not enough to Jesus, He blessed it, multiplied it, and gave it back to them. After everyone ate and was satisfied, there were leftovers.
He spoke to me so clearly, “That is what I’ve been asking of you. Bring to me what you feel is not enough and I will return it to you in abundance.”
Guys, that’s what He’s asking of us- bring Him our lack of patience, energy, experience, knowledge, or whatever it may be and allow Him to bless it and give it back to us in abundance. When we give everything we have and everything we are to Him, we lack absolutely nothing because He is a God who has absolutely no limitations.
That’s where my identity is anchored, that’s where my passion springs from, and it’s why I can be confident and patient when I am standing in a room full of 4 year olds -who only speak Spanish- attempting to teach them numbers in English.
His character is that He is more than enough, and therefore, that completely changes who I am and the way I respond to situations I am put in when I feel inadequate.
I am enough because of Jesus.
Jesus has filled me up these last three months in Guatemala more than I ever could have imagined. As we move forward these last 15 days, my prayer is that He would continue moving, continue showing me who He is, and continue showing me what He can do if I bring my not enough to Him.
I pray my relationship with the Lord would never be stagnant and I pray the same for you.
Side note- I wrote this while on a chicken bus to ministry yesterday morning and I just have to say, Guatemala is breathtakingly beautiful. Everyone needs to see this place.
Another side note- If you are ever in Antigua, Guatemala on a Sunday morning, PLEASE make your way to Shoreline City church. It will fill you up and bless you in so many ways.
