La Paz, Bolivia
Written 12-10-17
Who does God say I am?
Month 3 of the race is here, and it has been a crazy beautiful ride so far. There have been a million and one stories that one might consider out of the ordinary. We have gone through 2 rounds of tear-filled goodbyes now. We have been stripped of a lot of things that we didn’t realize were luxuries. We have been thrown into very vulnerable moments with people we really are just getting to know. We have had to push through less than desirable circumstances. We haven’t had the comfort of the people at home to turn to when things are hard. We have quickly realized what our coping mechanisms are, what our insecurities are, and what we struggle with. There have been moments when I question a lot, but God is big enough for my questions. This whole things is bizarre and a very unique experience, but I wouldn’t trade what God is doing in the midst of it all for anything.
All of that being said, there are times when I don’t always know/believe in who I am. Being in a leadership position, it has been humbling to see all the areas I lack in, but that God is not finished in yet. Also, it is a place that the enemy likes to attack in my thoughts. It says in the Bible that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. BUT my Jesus speaks a better word.
The last night in Mendoza, one of my squadmates, RJ, led a talk on IDENTITY for our entire squad, and what Jesus did that night was something that will be permanently carved in my soul. I’m not going to recap the whole talk, although it was REALLY good, but basically he opened up a time for us to ask God who He says we are, write it down, and speak it over ourselves each morning before we start our day. It may change in each season we are in, but it is a truth that Our Father speaks over us that the enemy can’t combat.
Before I tell you what God told me, I’d like to elaborate and paint a better picture of what Satan likes to whisper to me. You may relate to some of these, or maybe he likes to whisper lies to you about yourself in other areas, areas that are probably your strengths in reality, but again, the enemy wants to steal your joy and any power you have in furthering the kingdom of God. The last thing he wants is for you to believe that you are indeed who God says you are because then you might do something crazy like change the world. So, these are the lies he tells me:
– You aren’t good enough
– You aren’t qualified to be a leader
– You aren’t equipped
– Your love is self-seeking
– Your faith is weak and temporary.
– You’re not worth choosing.
– You will always fall back into the same sin because that’s just who you are.
– You’re not as brave as you think, you’re actually pretty weak.
Any of these sound familiar? Now, I don’t want you to think I’m curled up in a ball just soaking in these thoughts, helpless and in deep depression, but they do pop up in my mind at least once a day at some point, sometimes subtle like a smell or strong like a crashing wave. I know you know what I am talking about.
Sooooo, this is the good part!! The part where our whole mentality shifts, our perspectives change, and the Holy Spirit renews our belief system which plays into how we walk out our day. This is what God told me that night, and I know it was definitely Him because I am still learning to believe these statements whole-heartedly. I encourage you to take some time today or these next few days and write down what He says about who you are, too.
I am Shannon Victoria Sears.
I am rivers of wisdom.
I am courageous and I lead armies of warriors for the kingdom.
I am love because He is love.
I was never meant to be on the sidelines.
I am a burning light and my flames will not go out.
My flames WILL NOT burn out.
He will ALWAYS choose me.
Over & over & over & over.
I carry and release freedom.
I am as bold as a lion.
Restoration is my fragrance.
Yep. That’s what who my Father says I am. That is the truth I get to walk in everyday even when I don’t feel like that. Y’all know I don’t write l like that. I couldn’t make it up if I tried. That‘s pretty personal so thank you for letting me share that with you.
Thanks for reading about what God is doing in my life, guys. I pray that these words are more than just my own thoughts and feelings, but that they are crafted by the Holy Spirit to bless you. I hope you see God’s love for YOU, His creation, His child, also. I love you. Go walk in freedom knowing your identity as a child of God Himself.
XOXO
P.S. Blog about our ministry in Bolivia coming soon!
