Since I’ve been home, I’ve felt like I’ve been at a red stop light. Except it never changes to green. I’m stuck at the light for what seems like days, but instead of being stuck at a stop light, I’m stuck with processing 10 days of training camp. Quite truthfully, It’s hard to put down words of what happened in those ten days. It was an eye opening and life changing experience for me.
Training Camp has so many words to describe it, but here are a few that stick out to me: uncomfortable, joy, laughter, challenging, growth, real, dirty, hot, cold, stressful, stinky, friendships, teammates, beauty, alive, freedom, and new.
Joy
meeting 45 beautiful, unique, and talented squad-mates
Uncomfortable
when half of my squad-mates lost their luggage for a day while “traveling”
Laughter
when Bill (one of my 45 squadmates) constantly wanted to sing the “Famous One” at our campout
Challenging
when trying to finish the 3 mile hike in 50 minutes
Growth
while working through our past
Real
in vulnerability with squad-mates
Friendships
that turned into family
Teammates
The 6 girls that I get to live with the first few months. Go Team IGNITE!
Cold
the feeling we felt while taking bucket showers that made you wanna cry
Hot
the way my mouth felt after eating Indian food. My mouth literally felt like it was on fire!
Stressful
getting a plate of mystery meat that you don’t desire to eat but there is no other option for lunch
Dirty
because that’s how I felt all week. Dirt was everywhere
Stinky
because you can only handle so many bucket showers that chill you to the bone.
New
being adventurous and sleeping in my hammock overnight under the stars & trying those tasty crickets 😉
Beauty
in the transformation that took place in our hearts
Freedom
from breaking through walls of our past
Alive
alive in the Holy Spirit.
That’s training camp in a few short words… but there’s more.
Training Camp was full of nights of worship. Hundreds of young adults praised the Lord and God filled the room with His presence. On day three of training camp, I got sick with a cold and my voice went hoarse. When it went hoarse, I couldn’t sing which really frustrated me. When I did sing, I sounded like a dying walrus. OK… So obviously I’m exaggerating, but if you knew anything about me, it’s that I LOVE to sing.
Being frustrated about my cold one day, I was talking with one of my squadmates, and she shared with me that maybe God wanted me to worship Him in a different way. My squad leader also encouraged me to journal, read my bible, or simply sit there during worship. So, I decided that maybe it wasn’t about just being able to sing the words on the screen. It was more than that, it was simply being in God’s presence and spending time with him. Allowing him to speak, and allowing him to move.
Throughout the entire course of training camp, I felt this longing and desire to feel God’s presence more in my life. I wanted to be alive in the Holy Spirit like I never have before, but I didn’t know how. During worship one night, I simply stood in God’s presence, asking him to meet me. That’s when he asked me to get on my knee’s. Not once, not twice, but three times. Just praising and worshiping him for all he was doing in my life and where he was bringing me.
After I stood up from being on my knees the second time, a teammate came over to me and spoke words that God laid on her heart to share with me. I can’t remember the specific words she said, but I know the words spoke straight to my current thoughts and prayers and left me standing there in awe. My teammate was able to speak God’s heart to me and show me that he heard my thoughts, my hurts, and my insecurities.
Shortly after that, God asked me to get on my knee’s again. When I stood up, a staff from Adventures in Missions (AIM) came up to me and said she had an image for me that God laid on her heart to share with me. I was stunned, and I couldn’t believe what she just said. The image she gave me spoke directly to the journal entry I had written that morning.
I’ve never had an image spoken over me, so I was pretty stunned. Stunned from having a teammate share a word from God, and stunned from getting an image from God that God shared with an AIM staff specifically for me. So I stood there staring at this lady, unsure what to say, unsure what to do. It was quite a moment I’ll never forget.
I was so stunned that I spoke with the lady again about the image and had her write it down for me. This is the image she spoke:
“ I saw you as a branch, dead on the ground. The Lord picked you up and grafted you into the tree that is Him. Once you were grafted into His tree you began to bloom and produce the most wonderful fruit. He brought you back to life. You are no longer dead. Christ has saved you from the dead. See the beauty of His Splendor and Majesty”
The Image Spoke Life into me.
It reminded me that I am ALIVE IN CHRIST. I FELT IT AND I BELIEVED IT.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve felt that it has been harder for me to feel God’s presence in my life. But if I’m being honest, one thing stands clear today as I finish this blog I started a week and a half ago. In worship, my friend shared that maybe I was supposed to worship God in a different way. Since I’ve been home, I haven’t been taking time out of my crazy schedule to spend time with God. I’ve been full of anxiety about what these next two months will hold. Will I get to spend enough time with my family? Will I earn enough money to stay the next 11 months on this trip? How much will vaccinations cost?
It’s so easy for me to make the excuse that I am too busy. That I don’t have enough time. It’s easy for me to let my anxiety consume me.
I’ve realized I haven’t been spending time with God. I don’t always spend time with him daily if I’m honest. If I’m not investing in a personal relationship with HIM, then how would I feel God’s presence alive and active in my life? God is not an old book that you throw on the bookshelf to never look at again. God is also not a book that you throw on the bookshelf to only look at years later. The point is, if we want to be Alive in Christ, then we need to read that book everyday. I’m not referring specifically to the bible, rather I’m making a metaphor that if we want a personal relationship with God it takes daily effort. Just like in any relationship (not just romantic ones), in order for you to grow in your relationship you need to get to know each other. That’s the same with God. In order to know him, we need to seek after a relationship with him. This requires communication with him and spending time with him.
Spending time with him could be as simple as sitting in silence waiting for him to speak to you. It could also be taking a walk and spending time talking to God during that time. The ways to spend time with God are endless and they are unique to you and your relationship with God.
So this week I’m going to explore what it looks like to spend more time with God. Because training camp left me with this one realization. I WANT TO BE ALIVE IN THE HOLY SPIRIT LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEEN BEFORE. I WANT TO BE ALIVE IN GOD AND SERVE HIS KINGDOM. Not simply when I leave for the race, but starting right here, right now. I want to know God and have an intimate relationship with him. But it starts with spending time and seeking a relationship with Him.
