I love scars. They represent a story…and if we're lucky, it's a cool story. I started thinking about scars (physical, emotional, and spiritual) during church today after coffee stains on carpet were mentioned :-p. (You should totally listen to the whole story/sermon here: http://awakews.org/#/media– it should be up in the next few days.) Anyways, I can't think about stains without thinking about scars- both leave a mark.
I realized that there are two types of scars- the kind that are surgical, precise and the kind that come from out of the blue things (accidents, etc). God uses both.
There are times that God has to go in like a surgeon to fix something that will ultimately make us better. Before my surgery, I felt awful all the time. Everything I ate made me feel like puking and caused pain. It took the hands of a surgeon to go in and remove what was making me sick- what wasn't good for me- to make me better. Did it hurt after? Yes. But it was a healing kind of hurt. God does the same thing. He takes that things that are not good for us- the selfishness, the laziness, the apathy, the anger, all the sin- and He changes us. He takes the bad and replaces it with His good, His spirit when we give our lives to Him. It's a lifelong process- these "spiritual surgeries"- but one by one, God works on our issues. And through the pain and discomfort, He brings healing. Sometimes it's instantaneous. Sometimes the healing takes time. But it's important to remember that even if we continue to hurt, it's a healing kind of pain. It means that God's shown up & done something amazing.
The other kind of scars- the ones caused by out of the blue stuff- are the same and different. In both cases, God is in control and knows what's gonna happen. Out of the blue scars change us in a different way. They catch us off guard & half the fight is processing why they happened. Car accidents, bike accidents, "hey, watch this" accidents, or being attacked OR the stabbed-in-the-back-by-a-best-friend, relationship betrayals, lies- they all catch us off guard. They leave us wondering "what the heck just happened?". They hurt like the dickens. They feel so personal. But they have this wonderful ability to change us.
When I was in elementary school, I had a best friend that betrayed me. It broke my heart. For so many years, it has caused me to not want to trust people, to not let them in. I figured that if I didn't let anybody close enough, they couldn't hurt me. {I hate that I let it change me that way.} But I've been realizing that that isn't true. If you don't trust people and let them see you, you are hurt by loneliness. You miss out on the blessing of investing in people and letting them invest in you. That is a worse hurt.
I've had other scars and hurts through the years, as we all have, but they have shaped who I am. The amazing thing about even the worst scars is that they create an opportunity for God to step in. He is faithful to heal. He is faithful to comfort. He is faithful to make good out of the very worst situations. He makes all things beautiful. And I kinda love that about Him.
I had this dream last night. In the dream, I was Keri Russell in some non-existent movie. The story line, as best as I can remember/understand, was that she (me) was in a car accident. Her parents thought she was dead or she was in a coma, but she came back changed. She remembered the accident and the hurt. She felt so different that she felt her friends didn't know who she really was anymore. She was driving them in a car near where the accident happened and she decided to just floor it- to do what she had been afraid of. I feel like that. I feel like I've been through some stuff & am ready to face what I've been afraid of. I want to push ahead with courage. I want to live a forever changed life- scars and all.
