Since I was little little, I’ve dreamed of a certain day. I’ve thought about the details- how I’ll fix my hair, what flowers I’ll pick/be carrying, how gorgeous my dress will look, how smokin’ my mister-to-be will be (jk….but maybe not), the food, the location…everything. I may know exactly what my wedding will look like regardless of what month/season I actually end of getting married in. I may even browse David’s Bridal when I need a bit of a pick-me-up. Some may say, I’m a little obsessed. I just say that I’m ready.
But now it all makes sense.
Some of you may be shocked, others probably aren’t. But this man has pursued my heart like no other. His love for me is a little ridiculous. I could not be happier. He understands me so well. He’s so patient and kind. The selfless love he shows me and has shown me is like no other. He loves his Father so much. He makes me a better woman. I don’t want to spend a minute without him. And thankfully, I don’t have to. It’s a forever thing, guys.
Let me tell you a little more. I grew up knowing who he was. From time to time, I realized how much I loved him, but was too scared of what a relationship with him would look like. I was scared of saying yes and spending forever with him. There were times that I was so angry with him and even hated him. But still, he was there. I was always afraid to commit, but this year, I’ve realized that I don’t want to be afraid anymore. So, I said yes to him. Yes to whatever that looks like.
So, yes, Jesus. As my favorite song says, “You won’t relent until you have it all. My heart is yours.” This has become my favorite song & statement/response. I don’t completely understand everything about what being the bride of Christ means, but because of the desire God has put in me to be an earthly bride, it does help me understand it a little. For years, I’ve felt such shame with this desire and this longing. I’ve thought to myself “if only I was a better Christian, I wouldn’t have this desire. I wouldn’t be distracted.” And yes, at times I’ve seriously considered becoming a nun. But the truth is that this is a gift. God is teaching me so much through this desire.
Jesus has taught me that I long to feel beautiful and desired. And I am. Gosh darn it, I am.
He’s taught me that I absolutely long to be pursued. And I have been. He pursued me to the grave. No man could ever do that. Only Jesus.
I’ve longed to know whether or not I’d make a good wife. And through Him, I am and will be. He makes me beautiful. He makes me worthy. He shows me how to truly love. There is nothing lovely in me, except what’s come from Him.
He’s taught me what true love looks like and He is all that I need.
I love the song “You won’t relent” by Jesus Culture (based off of & quoting Song of Solomon 8). It has blown my mind and challenged my ideas of what love looks like. It also reminds me that I’m part of the most beautiful love story ever told. If you haven’t already heard it a million times in church, please take the time to listen to it.
Jesus won’t relent until He has all of me. He wants all of me. If that doesn’t make you fall head over heals, I don’t know what will. So how can my response be anything but, “My heart is Yours.” Such powerful words.
And if I were to get a tattoo, that’s what it would say. Just sayin…
Love you guys! ;-p
