Gacy, to most, was seen as a normal individual who lived a normal life. No one could have suspected that he was kidnapping young boys, sexually tormenting them in bizarre ways before murdering them and burying him underneath his house.
No one would have suspected it.
Now, I am a sensitive person. I cry at shows like Law and Order SVU and sometimes have to turn off my TV when violence becomes prevelant. It often knots my stomach, the representations of precious human life thrown away for the sake of entertainment. My heart also breaks when I consider that most people have only ever considered “pro-life” in the way of not aborting babies.
So why is this song, creepy and haunting and specific about it’s torture of innocence, one of my favorite songs?
Because it gives me a reminder that I’m exactly the same as John Wayne Gacy Jr.
Here are the lyrics:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne’s T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head.
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs…
Oh my God.
Are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He killed ten thousand people
With the slight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid
I may not be a serial killer, but if I really believe that one little blot of sin disqualifies me from the righteousness of God, it doesn’t matter if I have one blot or an ocean of blots. One blot is no less black than an ocean of blots.
And, more than that, we all have secrets and lies and depravity that we hide. Each one of us. It is easy to demonize, saying that someone deserves death. If we believe that the wages of sin is death, then we all need to realize that none of us deserve the Kingdom.
I am just the same as John Wayne Gacy Jr., Adolf Hitler, Sadaam Hussein, Pol Pot, Joseph Kony, Idi Amin.
I’m just the same as Osama bin Laden.
Every time we verify that he doesn’t deserve to live, we only verify that we don’t deserve to live. Every time we say he doesn’t deserve grace, we disqualify ourselves from that grace.
What if God said,
“Okay, so if this murderer doesn’t deserve grace, that means that you don’t deserve grace, either. You’ve looked upon your brother with hatred, which makes you a murderer, according to the words of my son.”
If we hate those the entire worlds hates, what does that say about the transforming love of a sinless Savior that laid His life down for ALL the Osama bin Ladens that ever lived? Isn’t the world supposed to know us by the love we have for one another, especially the ones who don’t deserve it?
Because I didn’t deserve it.
Jesus, The Message:
Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best-the sun to warm and the rain to nourish-to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
–Matthew 5:38-48
