Letter to the Skeptic

Look at the nations, watch, and be utterly amazed, for I am about to do something in your day that you wouldn’t believe, even if you were told. – Habakkuk 1:5

 

When the very first dreams of being a missionary were planted in my Spirit at camp that summer, I was 15 years old, anxiously waiting to get out into the community of Jackson, Tennessee, and do mission work. As we waited in the stark-white classroom-turned-Bible Study center, our missions leader had written this verse on the wall in bold letters. Though I was only in tenth grade and my mom would have sooner passed out than let me even contemplate traveling abroad, in my heart, I began to let the Lord plant His dreams. I would be a missionary one day, I would look at the nations and be amazed, and God would do things I absolutely wouldn’t be able to believe if he told me now.

And nine years later, surrounded by the awe-inspiring silence of the towering Tanzanian mountains and screamingly wide open skies filled with brilliant turquoise birds, I ponder my life and the things I can’t explain.

I’ve seen beauty this year that is incomprable to anything I could ever describe. I’ve been frustrated beyond measure as my lens can never capture the beauty of what I see and these flithy, cramped cages called words can no more contain the expression of my soul as a Coke bottle can contain the ocean. But beyond the beauty of the world, of people, and places, and countries, and continents, I have seen the beauty of the power of God.

 

As I reflected on what I want to convey to you, I realize that a lot of what I say might be completely dismissed as lunacy or well-intentioned exageration. Some of you might be grabbed by the words I’m saying, but you’ll shake them off as you grab your car keys to meet your friend for dinner at Chili’s. It will seem powerful for a day or two, but as you get caught up in the fast-pace of work and school and friends and what movie you’re going to see this weekend, the profundity of it will wane and dim, and perhaps you’ll think of this as you lay in bed at night, wondering if there is more to life.

There is. This is it.

What could possibly happen in my life that I wouldn’t believe, even if I was told? Let me tell you, and I hope that somehow, maybe for one person in a hundred that reads this, that you grab onto what I’m trying to say and really, really let God reveal Himself to you.

As I’ve traveled the world, it has become clear that God is not defined in the same terms in which He is defined in the west. I know I’ve talked about this a lot, but we have become victims of ourselves. Our mindset – or “box”, if you will – of what God will or will not do is silently killing our Spirit.

 

 

 

In Uganda, we lived in an area that was so darkened by occultic warfare your Spirit could actually feel the darkness. The war in northern Uganda has taken and ruined the lives of so many in more ways than would be obvious. Yes, thousands of people were killed and children were forced to become soldiers, but the origin of the war was founded in witchcraft and practices grounded deeply in the occult. Because of this, people walked by us each and every day that were plagued and possessed by demons. I’m not not talking figuratively, I’m talking physically manifesting demons.

 

We preached and shared our testimonies in open-air Crusades. At the end of the service each night, we would have deliverance services where people who were being oppressed by demons, curses, and evil spirits could come and be delivered in the name of Jesus. Each night as the sun went down, people possessed would come to us and things would happen, the likes of which I have NEVER seen in America.

Tiny women would be unsuccesfully restrained by three strong men. Multiple voices would scream out of one woman’s throat. A boy was thrown to the ground and twisted and turned faster than was humanly possible. People would contort in ways that were not humanly possible. I saw arms pop convulsively out of joint, and I saw elbows bend backwards and wrists bend to the sides. I was praying for a woman one night, holding her from her back, and her neck twisted all the way around to look me dead in the eye. I’ve heard two and more distinct and different voices and noises simultaneously grunt and speak. And in all of that time, I was completley unafraid and completely convinced that the only thing that could deliver these people was the name of Jesus. And each time, the demons would have to leave, because in Mark 16, it says that “in my name, they shall cast out demons.”

 

First off, you’re probably not going to encounter a demon like this on the way to the mall, on the way to your job, or on the way to your house. You have a predictable pattern of life, and the most uncertain thing that could probably crawl into that routine is a flat tire or a spurt of spontaniety to drive somewhere when you’re supposed to be going home. But if you should happen to encounter a frothing, screaming possessee, know that in the name of Jesus, it WILL come out.

They will speak with new tongues -Mark 16:17

Mark 16 also says that the signs that follow those that believe would include speaking in new tongues. Now, I know that many of you don’t know what to think about this, but if I’m going to believe the Bible, I’m believeing all of it. If a follower of Jesus will be known by the speaking of tongues, isn’t that kind of profound? Some people believe that it’s not for everyone, but if it’s a sign that follow those that believe, I want it.

Last year, when I was still in America, I was on a road trip with three good friends to Missouri. On the way home, we were driving through the most serene, beautiful countryside I could imagine, and my Spirit was exploding inside of my chest. It was one of those times when I’m certain that words could never convey what I wanted to say to God, so I let my Spirit speak instead. My friends stopped at a gas station for a few moments and I remained in the car so I could pray to God. I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself to them, because that’s not what praying in the Spirit is about. So I began to pray, and as I did, I noticed that the language I was speaking in was repeating itself over and over again.

As I opened my mouth, words that sounded out “Ee-sah Ho-dah” kept coming out, followed by a long sentence. Then, I would say those words again and again. I felt the Spirit lead me to write this down, so I pulled out a pen. I had no idea how to write the word, since one of the sounds is one we don’t have in English. But God speaks all languages, and somehow, I knew exactly how to write this phrase, even though I had no idea what it meant. So, on the inside of a gum wrapper, I wrote, “Isa Khouda”, tucked it into my purse, and forgot about it for a long time.

When we were in Turkey a few months back, I met a Christian college student from Iran. I was so excited to finally meet an Iranian, so I walked up to him and said, “I never learned your language, but I speak it when I pray.” He looked at me very curiously and I explained this story to him. Then, I asked him, “Tell me, if I were to say to you, ‘Isa Khouda’, what does that mean to you?” Smiling ear-to-ear, he said, “It means ‘Jesus is Lord!’ And you speak Farsi SO WELL!”

So… “They will speak with new tongues”. Mark 16. Check.

 

But maybe, just maybe, if you’re still here, then what I say next will really reach you.

 

How about raising the dead? It happened in Uganda, the end of February, when three men on my squad prayed over the body of a seven-year-old who was killed in a motorcycle accident. Right now? He’s living and breathing. If you want to read that INCREDIBLE STORY, I highly recommend that you do.

Can you really believe that? Guys that are my friends and brothers, normal guys who like to goof off and make up sports like “Extreme Walking”, and go to the local store up to six times a day for “sodie’s and snicks!” (i.e., a ‘sodie’ is Dan’s way of saying ‘soda’, and a ‘snick’ is a ‘Snicker bar’), who had jobs back home as a real estate agent, a high school football coach, and a police officer, can, in the name of Jesus, bring someone back to life? Normal guys, who used to work at Abercombie and Fitch, who get a little too competetive in team sports, who have only been Jesus-followers for about 12 months… These guys from places like South Carolina, Texas, and Colorado, they can raise the dead?!

They can’t, but the Jesus in them CAN. If we really believe the Bible we so adamantly say we do, this shouldn’t be a surprise.

The crazy thing is, when I heard about this, my response wasn’t proportionate to the unbelievable news I was hearing. I didn’t demand to know every single detail, I didn’t want an explanation of how it could logically have happened, I didn’t want verification that the boy was, indeed, deceased when they prayed over him. And why not? You don’t hear stories like this every single day, stories of dead people living because of a prayer uttered by three of your friends.

And by the grace of Christ, a little bit of curiosity I wanted satisified, and the God-given guts to step out of what I knew as normal and question that there was something more, I’m living that very life.

So wait… Am I saying that the reason most people think God doesn’t work the same way today as He did in the Bible is because you’ve never seen these things happen in your life? Well, from one who’s been there, don’t be offended if I say maybe you don’t know God as well as you think you do. I thought I knew ALL about God. I grew up as a preacher’s daughter in a Christian home in the Bible Belt and never missed a church service unless the plague was descending. I could answer all the Bible Trivia questions you could throw at me by second grade. I’ve served on a multitude of collegiate leadership and ministry teams. I’ve preached (or ‘shared’, for all my Baptist friends) and taught Bible studies and led services and thought I really knew a thing or two about God.

But, as Katie says, the more I know, the more I realize I don’t.

 

God is not a not a textbook definition. You can read your Bible every day of your life and still not know God at all if you’re not living the life He calls you to live in that very Bible. Knowing God is not like stalking a facebook profile. Sometimes we think if we read enough things ABOUT a person, it’s like knowing them personally. We can read that Bible as much as we stalk someone’s profile, but it doesn’t bring us any closer to having a personal relationship with that person. You may think you know a lot about God, but until you hear His voice as clearly in your heart as you hear mine on your cell, you’re not in open communication with Him. You may think by reading the Bible, you can predict what God would have you do an any situation, but in honesty, when you get into that situation, the things God leads you to do so often doesn’t make sense to you or add up in any way you can understand.

Am I saying that the Bible is useless for knowing God? Absolutely not. What I’m saying is that so many of us have missed out on the intensity and intimacy of a true, open, two-way relationship, even if we think our relationship with God is pretty good as it is. Trust me, you can only go deeper.

Maybe you have the faith to completely believe every single thing I’ve described could happen. If so, good. But if you aren’t experiencing these kinds of things in your life, stop and ask yourself why that is?

Is it because, like a little wind-up car on a circular track, your life is totally predictable, comfortable, and safe? There are no surprise turns, there are no unforseen changes, there is no room to wander off the track. As long as your making this track your priority, there’s no room for God to take you anywhere new. One thing I can absolutely say I’ve learned this year is that when you give yourself up to God, there is NO WAY you can predict where you’ll end up. If you know exactly what you’re going to do today, down to the very aisles you’ll visit at Wal-mart when you do your grocery shopping, maybe you should ask yourself if you’re being open to where God wants to take you and what He wants to do in you.

If these signs follow those that believe, isn’t it easy to see why so many atheists can call us hypocrites? I’ve been calling myself a follower of Jesus for nearly half my life, and until this year, did these signs follow me?

Guys, listen: This stuff doesn’t happen for the super holy. It happens for the obedient. If you listen to God, desire His will first in your life, He’ll show up in mighty ways. You could be doing this stuff in your hometown, and I fully intend to when I get back to America. However, I think the odds of being as radical as possible where you live are very slim unless you allow God to take you where He wants you first.

I don’t want to sound like I’m holier-than-thou, that is not my intent at all. In fact, Paul got it wrong because I am the chief of sinners. I stumble and fall, I mess up and don’t do things God specifically entrusts me with. But as I plunge more into the unknown each day, I find myself becoming holy, walking the straight path in a way I never have before, and obeying God’s whispers to do crazy, unbelievable things that don’t make any sense. I’m not becoming more like Christ because of what I’m doing for Him, rather, the things I’m doing for Him are just a reflection of the things He’s doing in ME. Jesus is rocking my world, turning it completely inside out, and allowing me to see that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I know it will take a lot more than my words and challenges to wake up the sleeper in you. It will take a move of God to lead you to leave your home, your job, your family, and everything you have ever known. It will take more than me writing an insignificant blog for you to understand the depths of what I am desperately trying to express. However, lucky for you, we have a God that pursues us and won’t let us go. If you’re feeling stirred for something more, know that God is available to answer all of your questions. All I know is that in eight months, the Bible has come alive in ways I never imagined could be real. God still heals the sick, casts out demons in Jesus’ name, breaks hearts of stone, delivers people from evil, allows His children to speak languages they never learned, and yes, He even raises the dead.

Is that whisper in you screaming yet?