Lai’s Story: I’m Willing to be a Lesbian for Christ (Part II)

 

 

 

Knowing that God had laid a clear burden on my heart for *Mai, I began to truly seek Him in prayer, imploring Him to give me His eyes, His heart, for her. I prayed that I would not just let this thought of sharing my faith with her flit capriciously through my mind, but that it would sink in deeply, transforming my “normal” into something it has never been before.

 

Two days ago, after being in constant prayer about her, I walked down our busy street to buy lunch. On the way to my usual rice-and-fish joint, I passed by the massage parlor. I happened to glance up and see her standing near the door frame, holding a small child. She smiled and waved at me, and before I even knew what I was doing, I walked up to her and began talking.

 

I started with small talk, asking her about her day. She seemed startled that I had gone to the trouble to walk up into the building, but she answered my questions with a wide smile and a nervous giggle. I’m normally very friendly in general, but in that moment, we both knew I was there with a purpose. I just think the purpose was misconstrued.

 

See, in Southeast Asia, many massage parlors can feature “other services” for clients who are willing to pay under the table for things, well, not mentioned on the menu. I don’t know that this particular massage parlor is such a place, but I am certain that she’s had sudden interest taken in her before. The fact that I am a woman, standing before her and talking to her in such a friendly way, might be a little different than if I were a man doing the same… but it doesn’t mean she sees my intentions any differently than she would a man.

 

I begin to feel more than a little awkward, but I am thankful for the days I have spent in preperation for this moment. Through the eyes I’ve prayed to receive, I see her as His child that needs to know of His love for her, at any cost.

 

Even if that cost includes my reputation.

 

I swallow my pride and push through the nerves in the air.

 

“Mai, if you are not busy, maybe we can hang out sometime?”

 

Ambiguously and with no commitment attached, she laughs and nods her head. I get the picture, really. She has no idea what to make of me. I don’t know what I would make of me if I was her, either. Realizing I’m not getting anywhere, I decide to cut my losses and bail. I wave good-bye to her and continue my trek down the bustling road.

 

Somewhere around the time my chicken is being tied up in a plastic bag, something strong and fierce grabs my heart:

 

 

 

Now, if you know me, you understand that I am never bold and persistent towards a person who doesn’t want me around. I’d rather let them feel comfortable than to bother them with my presence or the suggestion of events in which they don’t want to participate. So imagine my surprise when I walked back into her shop after just being kindly turned away, boldly standing before her again.

 

I point-blank ask her,

 

“Mai, I know you are very busy, but would you like to have coffee with me sometime?”

 

She laughs nervously, and I can see that she is trying to find a nice way out of this situation. I feel for her, I really do. She shakes her head and says, “It’s okay”, as if trying to let me know I don’t have to go through formalities. I smile kindly and touch her arm, trying to communicate to her that I have no ill-intentions with her. I don’t want to buy her. I don’t want to misuse her. I hope she understands that.

 

I walk out of the situation and into my room.

 

 

Yesterday, I began to think about getting her a Bible again, although I had no idea where I would be able to get one. So I prayed one, simple prayer:

 

 

Soon after praying this short, one-shot prayer, I found out I was on schedule to go visit a local church’s youth group. While in this meeting, God spoke very clearly to me and said, “Ask your translator about getting a Vietnamese Bible.” So, after our group session had ended, I pulled him aside and asked him about it. I was a little bit worried about this in my mind, because I had very little money with me — only 4,000 dong (About $2 USD), and even if this church happened to sell Bibles, I doubted whether I had enough money to actualy purchase one. As my friend looked into the situation, I found out that the church did sell Bibles, but that the person who had the key to the Bible case was not there.

 

I breathed a small prayer…

 

Miraculously, without a key, they were able to get into the case, even though the security is usually very high. And, to my amazement, I found out that the cost of this very nice-looking Bible was only 3,500 dong.

 

I walked out of there, surpirsed at how easily and quickly God had answered my prayer (I had only prayed about the Bible moments before finding out I was going to the church!). With a renewed heart, I was certain that God wanted me to talk to Mai.

 

So today, as I was walking down the street to my usual rice-and-fish joint once again, Mai came running into the street to meet me. It had been two days since I had seen her last, but something had visibly changed.

 

“Have you had a chance to see the city?” She asked. “If you haven’t, I can take you to many places that are very interesting.”

 

Whether she warmed to the idea of making a friend or saw my interest as an opportunity to make money as a tour guide, I was affirmed:  

 

I could tell she wasn’t completely sure of my intentions as we spoke, but as we did, I saw her skepticism begin to melt away. I told her,

 

“I have had an opportunity to see many things in this city, so I am not very interested in seeing tourist sights. What I am interested in is getting to know you, gettig to hear about your life, and being your friend.”

 

She seemed caught off-guard. She smiled and laughed as she told me in a very sincere way,

 

“It makes me happy that you are such a friendly person. I think I would like to have coffee with you. I start work at 9am each day and don’t get off until 9pm.”

 

I asked her,

 

“I’m sure you are very worn out at the end of the day. Are you sure you will not be too tired?” 

 

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then hesitantly but firmly decided,

 

“No, it will be fine.”

 

So, tomorrow night, at 9pm, I am going to meet Mai and treat her to coffee. I don’t know if she’s anticipating a friendship. I don’t know if she’s expecting a date. I don’t know if she’s expecting to sell me something. All I know is that we serve a relentless God who wants us to be just as relentless in the pursuit of the lost, willing to become anything to them, if only for the chance to share of the hope that lives within us.

 

Trust me, I don’t like the idea of being seen as a lonely, sex-driven lesbian. But, in feeling one inch of the powerful love He has for her, I’d be willing to be seen as anything if it means a chance to share of the hope within me. If being seen in this light means that I get to contribute in her taking the first step in the series of a hundred more she must take before coming to an understanding of this love in her heart, I’d boldly declare that the end more than justifies the means.

 

— 1 Corinthians 9:22-23