I am cuddled up under blankets in bed, trying to stay warm on this freezing winter morning. I was reading my devotional for today, February 10th, in My Utmost for His Highest, when a couple sentences into it, it hit me; this very same time last year I was doing this exact same thing. I may be in Northern Romania instead of Central Illinois, but there are some very distinct similarities. Allow me to explain…
One year ago today I was cuddled up in my bed in the very old, very drafty house I lived in called the Fuel House. I lived with 9 other women from the young adult ministry we served in called Fuel.
Similarities: Cuddled up in bed, check. Drafty old house, check. Living with 9 other women whom I do ministry with, check.
One year ago today I woke up missing Brad and knew I needed to get before the Lord, so I reached for my devotional and read.
Similarities: Missing Brad, check. Seeking quiet time with God, check. Reading February 10th of My Utmost for His Highest, check.
So here’s the story, this time last year I had only known Brad for a few weeks. We had become very fond of each other, but anything beyond that had not been spoken. His feelings for me were secret and my feelings for him were suppressed, hidden behind a wall I had put up for protection, knowing I was committed to an 11 month mission trip and not in any sort of position to be falling for someone. It all came crashing down when he left for a weekend in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Suddenly I found myself terribly missing this man I had just met. The way he left, had us both realizing that something deeper was going on that was greater than the two of us. We were both prompted to fast and pray during that time, neither one of us informing the other that that was what we were doing. A couple days into it we found out that we were both fasting and praying at the same time, seeking God for answers. Brad told me that he was going snowshoeing into the Porkies (Porcupine Mountain State Park) to get alone with God and seek confirmation on the answers he felt God had already given him. He asked me to pray for him, that he would get the confirmation he needed. I sent him a quote from the day’s devotional, which is today, February 10th, the scripture was Isaiah 40:26
“Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things…”
and the quote was
“If we are children of God, we have a tremendous treasure in nature and will realize that it is holy and sacred. We will see God reaching out to us in every wind that blows, every sunrise and sunset, every cloud in the sky, every flower that blooms, and every leaf that fades, if we will only begin to use our blinded thinking to visualize it.”
By the end of his long weekend in the UP, Brad had gotten the confirmation he needed. And God had brought me to a place of complete peace and confidence that He was covering whatever was going on between Brad and me. The first thing Brad did when he came back home on February 13th, 2011 was meet with me to tell me that through his time away, God had led him to the quiet peace and gentle affirmation he needed that I was his wife. As bold and as sudden as it may have been, the Lord had given me a “peace that surpassed all understanding,” which marked the beginning of our love story completely authored by God.
Oh one other thing, while Brad was in the Porkies, asking God about me, he had a moment where he saw himself proposing to me there… 6 months later he did.
August 16th, 2011, Porcupine Mountain State Park
