It’s been awhile since I last posted a blog. I have been trying to live my life by
walking by faith. Well, I feel
like it is more like a rollercoaster ride of faith.
In October 2010, God begin me on a path where I was to live
depending solely on him. This
sounds like how every Christian lives, but in reality it is totally
different. No longer was I allowed
to have a steady job with a steady income. No longer was I to have my own place to live. No longer was I to be
self-sufficient. None of those things
are bad or not things God wants in
a Christian’s life. God had just
called me to a whole new level of living solely dependant on God. God promised me that he provide for me
needs and bring me back into ministry where I can bring healing to the hurting. I begin living a life that I have felt
called to live but had been afraid to step out and take that risk and truly
live like I trust God with everything.
As you know that has lead me back to Florida, to the Orlando
area and I have been working for free part time for my ministry Flight to
Light. I had also been given the
opportunity to doing counseling part time with an agency to pay my bills. God graciously provided me with a free
place to live with a wonderful Godly woman. So on the surface it all looks good, but here begins the
rollercoaster ride of faith…
My income from counseling has been anything but consistent
no matter what I have tried to do to increase the consistence. I just found out once again that I am
left with no clients and no income coming in. I have tried to offset this by doing nanny jobs, but ones I
have taken have fallen through or lasted only for a week. Every time I try to look for a more
stable job, God says no. It is a
crazy ride to not know where your money to pay your bills is going to come
from. I get scared because I am a
doer and want to work, but I also do not want to leave the path God has set for
me. I did that before and it was
devastating to go through. Every
time I make attempts I hear God telling that he will provide for my needs. The crazy thing is he has and has never
let me down and not provided, but I still get scared when I feel insecure
because there is no logical method for me to pay my bills.
At, the same time I have seen God working in amazing
ways. Our 501c3 has been approved,
so Flight to Light is officially a non-profit organization. God has been opening doors for me to
make connections. A generous
person has already given $250 to our foundation. God has provided me with a home and a community that has
been incredible. God has opened
the door for me take teenage girls on a mission trip to Thailand this
summer. I know that what I am
doing is in God’s plan. I know
that he is working and is going to truly develop our dreams of a safe house for
teenage girls rescued out of sex trafficking. I know that he will provide for me needs.
…But, I have no idea how he is going to do all these
things. So I continue on my
rollercoaster ride of faith and daily put my trust in Jesus to provide for my
needs and my dreams. Often times
it is lonely on this ride because most people do not understand relying solely
on Jesus to provide for my needs.
Jesus has used some amazing people to help provide for those needs and I
am so thankful for their love, support, and prayers.
So, Jesus I put my trust completely in you to work your
miracles and provide for my needs.
Daily I come before your throne and bring my needs and thank you for
what you will do to provide. Daily
I hand over my fears to you to turn into hope and confidence in your
provision.
