In February, I moved to Southern Pines, North Carolina for a
job as a Family Counselor that appeared to all fall in to place for me. The pay was good and I thought it would
lead me to get my Counseling license because I thought that was what I was
supposed to do. Somehow after
returning home from the Race I slowly took my focus off of God and his plan for
my life and was distracted by what the world says I should be doing. In the first week of the job I began to
see that things were not what they should be. I was fired and rehired in a that week (it’s a long story
and thank you to all who walked through that with me.) I began to realize that the company
misled me on some aspects of the job and their expectations were insane. I became very stressed out by this job
and overwhelmed.
Though the job was not going well, God did provide me with
an amazing church and community through that church. Grace Church is the first church I have ever loved attending
and looked forward to Sunday mornings.
Without this church and the people who God placed in my life I would not
have been able to make it through the past four months.
In May God began to wreck me. I basically had a breakdown and could not deal with my job
and all the stress anymore.
Unfortunately it all came to a blow on my birthday which I spent
crying. Thankfully my Dad had
planned a visit that weekend and my amazing friends got me through. Without them I would had packed up in
moved back home to Florida right then.
The next two months were some of the hardest months I have
ever had. I could not eat for the
rest of May and most of June. I
have lost a lot of weight for me.
I could barely make it through the week without crying. But God began to reveal some things to
me during this time. I was
constantly praying for a way out of this job, but all I could hear from God was
wait. Well waiting is not
something I am good at especially when it’s painful. God basically challenged me with “Are you going to have
faith that I have a plan and purpose for you even in the bad times? Are you going to trust me even when it
feels like everything is falling apart?�
I realized that its easy to have faith and trust when things are going
your way, but the real test is when you are in the desert.
During this God revealed that I disobeyed him in taking this
job. He took me back to several
times during the interview process of this job when I felt a tug in my spirit
not to take this job. He also
revealed to me my pride in taking this job. I was proud to be starting my career so soon after getting
off the race, that I had my own apartment, could buy things that I wanted. He also revealed some attitude things I
needed to work on in my job.
I learned how to cling to God because nothing else could
keep me going. I lived for worship
with him and got my strength through clinging to him all through my day. I have low blood sugar issues and
usually pass out if I don’t eat, but God never let that happen during that time
where I was living off maybe on meal a day and protein shakes. I decided to believe that he was
faithful and trust he had a plan and I lived that out each day. As I surrendered completely and became
obedient to the things he was bringing up He began to reveal his plan to
me.
I had interviewed for several jobs here in Southern Pines,
NC but God kept shutting the door.
I wanted to stay here because of the church and my friends. One thing I knew was that God was
calling me back to full time ministry.
God reminded me during all of this my love and need to pour out true
healing and love through Jesus. He
reminded me how much I loved youth ministry and discipling too.
In the middle of July God finally released me from my
job. However, the end date is not
until October. I had decided that
I needed to go back home to Florida and live with my dad until God opened the
door to full time ministry for me.
That same week through a couple in my church, presenting me with an
opportunity to apply for the Teen Challenge Ministry Institute in CA. It sounded right up my alley of what I
am interested in, so I completed an application and sent recommendations
out. I sent a recommendation to
the Pastor I was a youth pastor under.
He emailed me back saying he would complete it but that the church had
begun a ministry in human trafficking and thought I would be perfect for the
job and would call me when the funding came in to hire me. I was interested and thought that could
be something for the future. Well,
it kept coming in up and things kept being placed in my path that kept pointing
me towards the human trafficking ministry.
In August God gave me the words “Go, I am sending you
out. I will provide. I have great things for you to do. You will walk through their pain with
them. I will equip you.� I then got a picture of myself in a
house with my arms around an Asian teenage girl. The next day I called the
Pastor in Orlando and talked with him for about an hour about the ministry and
what their plans are. He told me
that they have begun to look at house to house women rescued from trafficking
and have begun making connections with the FBI. They want me to help them especially with the counseling
side of the ministry. They are
just in the beginning stages and have a big awareness event on Oct 19th
in Lake Mary, FL. I still had not committed to anything
and was still pursuing the Institute in CA. The Pastor said that he knew I would be back in Florida
working with them. Well that
weekend God confirmed that through three different people that I highly
respect.
So, my last day of work was on October 1st and I am
scheduled to move back to Florida the first weekend of November. The ministry does not have the funding to pay me and I don’t
know if they ever will. I don’t
totally know what God’s plan is for me past moving back home and helping with this
ministry. This is the first time
in my life I have quit a job without having another one lined up. I have no idea how I am going to
support myself, but I know that I am walking in God’s plan and that feels so
amazing. God has already been
faithful in helping my break my apartment lease.
It has been wonderful this week not to be consumed with
anxiety and stress from my job.
However, the realization that I will have to say goodbye to a wonderful
church and friends is making me sad.
I have such an amazing community here that I am going to miss
dearly.
Pray that God provides me with direction and wisdom for the
next steps of my life and God to begin opening the door for funding for Flight
to Light Foundation, which is the ministry I will be working for in Florida. You can check out the ministry at www.flighttolight.net
