“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,
the conviction of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1
On November 10, 2014, Jesus revealed a part of his plans for my life while in Thailand. How do I explain this? For some reason, I drew a map in my journal that night, and prayed over it. And then I felt this ache in my heart, a longing to stay abroad. And then I saw dots on my map, not drawn by my hand, but definitely there. And then they disappeared. But the ache stayed. And it has felt heavy in my heart ever since then. But sometimes its a knot in my stomach, or tears from my eyes. Jesus planted a seed, and despite my greatest efforts I cannot stop it from growing.
The world race? Impossible, I thought. I mean, for so long I could hardly even leave my bed, let alone the country. I’ve let anxiety and fear control my life, and those two told me I couldn’t do the race. But the Holy Spirit is much more powerful than anything the devil could throw at me, and so Jesus began chipping away at my can’ts. He picked me up and said, “I have more for you.” And I began to believe it.
Now, I’m not going to tell you that I am perfect now and I don’t have any anxiety. Because I would be lying to you. I still struggle with anxiety, and to be honest this route and this trip are absolutely terrifying to me. But more and more, every day, Jesus is reminding me that He has more for me, more for my life. I am called to be obedient to Him, and I am relying on His strength. I am filled with a peace that quite frankly makes no sense, but I know that this is where the Lord wants me to go.
