Our ministry in England has probably been the most challenging for me so. The two main reasons being tracting and structure. I am not really a fan of either, but despite my dislikes I chose to make the most of my experience here, learning and growing through my challenges.
Giving when no one wants to get…
In the past I’ve always thought handing out tracts felt forced and impersonal. I know how I react to people handing out leaflets… smile and walk by quickly without taking anything… so why should I expect anything different from others? What I have to offer is 
more worthwhile than anything else they could get, however, they don’t know that, nor do I usually have the chance to tell them as they speed walk past me trying to avert their eyes from my outstretched hand. For the most part I have viewed tracting as ineffective and a waste of trees and time.
Yet, despite my negative outlook on tracting I knew that God put us here in England doing this kind of ministry for a reason and who am I to question his plan. So I changed my attitude and gave it a chance. Each time we went to the streets, I took a large stack of tracts and papers hoping for the best. I prayed that the message I was carrying wouldn’t get tossed out without any consideration, but rather that a seed would be planted and begin to grow. With a genuine -God work through me- smile I greeted any and everyone with a Happy Christmas and handed them a tract. I chose to trust God in the matter, trusting that some would read it and believe, some would read it and just be curious, and still some would be completely blinded to the truth. Whatever happened was up to God, I was merely the messenger.
I don’t know the outcome of the leaflets I gave out, but I do know that because of our time on the streets over 4000 people had the opportunity to learn about God’s love and forgiveness. When I look at it that way, it was definitely all worth it.
Bird in a cage…
I understand the need for structure, I just don’t particularly like it. Coming here to England has been by far the most structured month we’ve had. Usually timelines are flexible, as is everything else, but here our days have been 
planned out from breakfast to lights out, every minute accounted for. By simply looking at me it is obvious I don’t fit into that kind of mold. I find it stifling and claustrophobic.
Even though I had a harder time with the structure than with the tracting, I still felt confident that God had us here for a reason. After a day of grumbling and complaining I decided that, that would accomplish nothing. So I tried to learn from our time here, noticing what parts of the overly-planned week I thought worked well (like the cleaning schedule) and what parts didn’t (like the lack of free time). By objectively observing the way things were run I was able to take away valuable knowledge that I can use in the future. With God’s help I was able to give up my freedom and control, learning from the experience and once again realizing that freedom is not a right but a privilege, a privilege I am extremely thankful for. The week was very challenging but I survived, even earning an encouraging word from our leader as he expressed his admiration for my free spirited nature accompanied by my willingness to succumb to the authority put over me.
Although I am glad the strict rules and guidelines are behind me, I know that I can live through them, even learn from them. It wasn’t easy, but looking back I’m almost glad it wasn’t. It’s during those challenging times that we see our weakness and grow from them. I’m glad I had the chance to be stretched and as crazy as it sounds I look forward to the next challenge, whether it’s tracting, structure, or something else entirely, I know that with God’s strength I can not only survive but thrive.
