I’m a night person through and through. If it were up to me I’d stay up until 4 am and sleep until noon everyday. Unfortunately, the world does not revolve around my biological clock. However, there are some nights that life permits me to fulfill my night-owl tendencies and when that occasion arises I enjoy it thoroughly.
After everyone has gone to bed, when the lights have all been turned off and the noises of the day have dwindled to a whisper, I call it my ‘Shanda Time’. Sometimes I merely sit and enjoy the quiet, other times I walk around on the deserted moonlit streets and think. Either way I find it incredibly peaceful. It’s the part of the day when I get to relax, to reflect on the days happenings and to mull over those tough questions that life seems to always throw our way.
A few nights ago, during one of these pondering sessions, I began looking back at my life wondering how I ended up here, where my life is headed next and how everything I know has changed and it’s all about to change once again.
For as far back as I can remember my life has been anything but consistent. Change has been an ever present fixture throughout the years. The majority of the change, at least in the past few years, has been my own choice. Yet looking back it all seems so strange. Most of the people I know have lives that I would call consistent… whether it be location, friends, a significant other or an occupation, something in their lives keeps them grounded. I’ve never lived in the same place for more than 4 years. I’ve been to seven schools and have friends literally spread around the world. I’ve never had a high school sweetheart by my side. I’ve never had a job that lasted more than a few months. Where is my consistency? What is my constant?
To tired to thoroughly explore my late night ponderings I simple emailed them to my best friend, Emily, in hopes of some thoughtful insight. The feedback I got was dead on and exactly what I had overlooked the night before.
Remember, consistency does not equal purpose. or happiness, or love or joy or anything. It’s just something being the same. it’s static.
YOU are dynamic. God made you that way. And you love it.
I love you. And God loves you. So what else matters?
Through her comforting words I found truth. God is my constant and that’s all I need. Although I’ve moved a lot, I’ve got friends all over, I’ve never had a steady boyfriend, and I’ve yet to begin a career, I have God. He has been with me through thick and thin, from place to place, and that won’t ever change.
Oddly enough this next year is going to be pretty consistent with my non-consistent life. Nothing is going to be the same for long. Locations will be constantly changing, ministries will be constantly changing, living conditions will be constantly changing. My entire life for the next year will be constantly changing except for God. And when it comes down to it, do I really need anything else?
