Deeper Realms So now we have new teams and new ministry. This blog is more of a reflection of the past four months and what I?m still processing now. For what I can say is its very good and very much part of His heart for all of us as we go forward. First and foremost what I can say is that Papa loves me. He loves me more than words can say and sometimes you just need to boast that in yourself. It?s simply believing what he says and what He?s done on the cross for you. His love is simple, yet profound. He was scarred, his visage marred beyond any person, and he still gave up His spirit so His children could dwell with Him.
I came from a culture and friend group where gifts of the Spirit were welcome. So healing, speaking in tongues and prophecy were not only accepted, but encouraged to help your walk with Holy Spirit. So it was no longer knowing, that God can do miracles but you, individually can be part of that process. So coming on the race, I wanted to see God move supernaturally and I wanted the people around me to experience the same thing. I made the mistake of thinking, people didn?t have anything to offer me that Holy Spirit could not offer himself.I had sort of thought that ?I had arrived.? As a result, I dismissed the teachings of the pastors and helpers at training camp. What I didn?t think is he would work through the people in my life to help build on what he?s doing in me. In Nepal, we helped run a seminar at a local church that had just been planted in the village. I was preparing a discussion on healing and the power of the Holy Spirit. I had an idea of where I wanted to go but I was still a little lost as how to put a structure to what can be a hot button issue for people. So one of my teammates said ?I have the notes from training camp on Healing.? Later on that night I look through the notes and find many simple, yet wise to help the people understand where healing comes from and how they can be part of the process.
Then I hear Papa go ?Wise men huh?? I then bawl my eyes out because what had been revealed was a hidden sense of pride I had back before launch. I somehow some way felt I could not learn about aspects that take years and years of experience and presence to even grasp. It was also a hidden insecurity revealed about moving to a new realm of understanding that I might not even comprehend. Looking at Jesus, He is God?s beloved son and He didn?t even start his ministry until He was thirty years old. Yet, we want to try things and try to prove something, right off the bat. There is a sense of preparation and focus before you move on to the harvest of what God is doing in you. So any sense of value in performance must go out the window. In Month One (South Africa), I started over. I literally came to the end of myself at the time and suddenly every defeat or victory before the race didn?t matter anymore. I came to complete sense of newness before Him and I had never felt freer. Still always free. Since, then it has been a literal rebuilding process and He has been the molder and refiner of my faith. Some things have been revealed but it?s interesting because I cannot tell you what I was like before month one on the race. It has been a joyful process, in building something new and authentic. Every day I am physically and spiritually in a new place that offers different choices for his love. The freedom from the approval of people (A longer blog for later.) has been a big issue that has been tackled. So walking in a new freedom in Him has been huge for my relationship with Papa.
So the focus has not been His power. It hasn?t been signs and wonders and it hasn?t been trying to create a revival all around the world. The focus has been what kind of man is Papa making me to be and understanding his original intention when he created me. How can I love others, not for myself but from a goodness that is already known? How can I just simply let God love His children with no strings attached and authentically asking where does my joy come from? It?s a process like anything. This new realm of thinking and newness is building into a newer and more authentic joy that is not reliant on the approval of others. It?s a new realm of freedom that must be explored and engaged. This is also knowing that I might be here for a while and to be honest I might not get to see God move the way I originally thought. That is ok, because He knows what is best and I know He is preparing me for bigger things unseen and seen. What is amazing is He uses us despite ourselves and despite where we were. Now there is a deeper calling and it is good. Very good. I will wait and see the wonders He will perform.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiNoelODP_Y
My new theme song 🙂
