How great is your resolve?

“Jesus you get for free, Christ will cost you everything,”
said Andrew Shearman under Gary Black‘s old lapa in Swaziland. I pondered it for a
second and questioned my resolve. Will I really pour myself out each day?
“Lord,” I told him, “I will stand by you. Test my heart and purge me of any
evil. Refine me,” I asked.

Now looking back I’m realizing what it may cost and
questioning this prayer. Is it really worth it?

It’s tough saying I’ll give up everything to serve him
because there’s always the chance he could take me up on it! But then God shows
me his character. He shows me the overwhelming joy there is in dying to myself
each day and reveals the great freedom in it. He shows me those he loves and
breaks my heart for the things that break his. He opens my eyes and reveals to
me little glimpses of hope for a nation or a generation.

In this team he’s shown me passion in teenagers I’ve never
seen before. Every night a bunch from this team goes out to the back corner of
the complex to pray. And they pray for hours. They pour out their heart to the
Lord and encourage each other. God reveals himself to them and shows them
visions of hope for Nicaragua.
He shows the little secrets of his heart and stoops down low to see what
they’ll do.

What a lover God is! How great his compassion and how deep
his love!

It’s an honor to provide direction and help to activate the
visions the Lord has placed on the group’s heart. Often times I wonder how
they’ll be afterward. How great is their resolve? Could, if God asked, they
give up everything? This is seven months and the end is around the corner. It’s
always much easier when an end is in sight. And, for some of them and sometimes
for me, that end couldn’t come soon enough.