Our team was assigned to work with Pastor Manuel Rosado. He and his family are some of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met. We came on this trip to give up our comforts from home and serve, but he did everything he could to spoil us. He invited us to his house multiple times.
The first time was to serve us hot buttered toast and mango con leche, which is cold mango juice with milk. It tastes like a mango smoothie. It was delicious.
The next time they fixed us an authentic Dominican dinner of pan-fried cheese, sliced avocado and mashed plantains, which were like lumpy mashed potatoes with a little sweetness and an interesting mix of spices; also delicious.
We worked with Pastor Manuel in Las Charcas, a small village near a farming community. We went door-to-door, talking to people about our mission, praying over them, and just getting to know the community better. We put on VBS programs for the kids. We helped with praise and worship and delivered the sermon messages for the church services that happened while we were there. We made special visits to houses where people were sick and prayed over them.
One man we visited named Raphael had legs that were horribly atrophied and he couldn’t walk. He sees himself as an invalid and a burden. He was so moved that we would spend time with him that he cried nearly the whole time we were with him. We prayed that he would be able to walk. We had faith that it would happen. I even felt God’s confirmation that he would walk, but when it came time, he didn’t want to get out of his wheelchair and try, which I don’t blame him for at all.
There is such a presence of doubt and fear and despair in his life. No matter what we could say about God’s love or healing, he didn’t believe that he would ever be able to walk again. It makes me wonder just how many “could have been” miracles happen because of the lack of faith in the would-be receiver of the miracle.
This month, and in this ministry, God has really been speaking to me about who I am. He’s been encouraging me to grow in some areas: to be more confident in Him and step up as a leader. Also, strangely, he’s also been letting me know that certain things in my life don’t need to change. This may sound weird, but I’ve struggled with the part of myself that loves video games. I’ve thought to myself, “Even if I manage my time in a way that is healthy, is time spent video gaming or watching shows and movies just a straight up waste? Should we as Christians just swear that stuff off completely and focus purely on things that will make us grow?”
But this month as I was processing everything I experienced, God gave me peace with the idea that entertainment keeps us from getting burned out. In moderation, it is a very good thing. God also let me know that my passion for video games is a part of who I am because He made me that way, and that that passion is a good thing. A profound personal revelation from God about video games; who would’ve thought?
But that’s what God has really been up to: challenging my perceptions and expectations. Before this trip, I thought I knew what generosity was. Then I saw a family that lives in shacks insist that we eat some corn that they were roasting. Afterwards I found out that that was their lunch for the day and they had very little food to their names.
I thought for sure that this trip was some kind of one-way ticket to see obvious miracles; to see God show up in such a way that I would never struggle with doubt again. Then I prayed over someone with an ear infection, the next day it was gone, and I had a chance to build my faith in the face of doubtful thoughts: “That could have gone away on its own. That probably wasn’t a miracle.”
I thought that we were so anointed that when we came to our ministry site, a revival would break out. What I saw was the light of hope growing in people’s eyes; I saw people filled with joy just because we cared enough to be there; I saw a pastor that welcomed us into his family and has a renewed fervor that the congregation he leads will grow and prosper.
I was reminded that following Him is not about what I want or expect to see happen. It’s about having faith, being where He wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do, and then whether the result is a profound miracle or a simple smile of joy is up to Him.
(edit: There are some videos to go along with stuff here, but the internet in Haiti is slow, so it’ll be a while before those can be uploaded and shared. I’ll have to post links later.)
