I was honestly in the process of writing an entire blog post about how I have nothing to write about. But I just deleted all of my lifeless, single-sentence paragraphs there are words down there to write.
But first I must say that if all I had to post was a whole load of nothing, that would be OK too.
God is beyond time. Maybe the concept of my weekly blogging routine just makes Him laugh. Putting Him on some kind of revelation-schedule, as though He had better get to changing my heart before the weekend rolls around….well that’s pretty hilarious any way you swing it. Because God is not in time the way that you and I are. I’m going to need that truth more in the weeks to come I’m sure.
But back to the word for me this week: thankfulness.
It started with an overwhelming gratefulness for my sister and my Dad. I spent the weekend with them in Portland but I was dragging my feet to help out around my sister’s new house. I’m not going to mince words, I was being selfish.
I believe the Holy Spirit jumped in here and helped me make two conclusions I never would have on my own.
1) My sister is so incredibly generous to welcome me into her home, feed me and ask for my opinions about the colors of her walls. She makes her plans with me in mind. She thinks up tasty things to eat that I will be able to eat (allergic to gluten). Thanks Faith!
2) My Dad is also a huge model of generosity in my life. I can call him up and mention something that’s troubling me and he’ll drop everything to see the problem to resolution. And here he was for the whole weekend, giving his time, energy and know-how for the simple reason of making my sister happy in her new house. Although there is often no direct benefit to him, my Dad has been faithfully eager to be generous to my family in whatever way he can. Thanks Dad!
Then I returned to school. Although I am really blessed by relationships here at UW, I struggled to just enjoy them as they are now. I felt every emotion about them but thankfulness. Primarily, I wanted assurance that I was somehow worthy of these people being in my life. And I wanted control over how I enjoyed them and for how long. Just being thankful for what (and who) I have today is way more fun. And it’s also God’s setup for me.
Wednesday I ran into 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
Initially I missed the simple tree of Holy Spirit imperative in the forest of Gospel implications and theology, but caught it on a second read while reflecting on the week.
Just be thankful. Just do it. Even when you don’t feel thankful, obey. Be thankful.
I sat down with my lunch yesterday at the same time as a young man across the table. He bowed his head and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, then began to eat. His name was Jay and he was pretty friendly. Later in our conversation I mentioned that I’d noticed him praying, and I asked him who he prayed to.
It kind of stumped him at first. But he came to the conclusion that he was just thanking the food. He was just practicing gratefulness. Although his grateful thoughts were undirected, his heart impacted me.
If he could practice being thankful for his lunch with no understanding of the mind-boggling gifts offered to him by Jesus, how much more do I have to be thankful for?
The foundation truth is that I have been greatly blessed. So I conclude that thankful is a part of who I am. Even if I don’t feel thankful. The emotional aspects of gratefulness are actually only icing on the cake. So the word for me this week is to stop waiting for the icing to bake the cake!
