God. Is. Incredible. And the great works He does are even more mind-boggling to me when I reflect on the unobtrusive steps He orchestrates in order to accomplish whatever finally grabbed my attention. So I want to share with you the intricacies of God’s work in bringing me to go on the World Race. As I’ve said before, when our God calls, He provides. So let me tell you how He has called and why I have faith that He will provide. As a dear friend asked me, “how do I know that I know that I know that God is calling me to go on the World Race”?
I heard about the World Race almost a year ago, but I *knew* it wasn’t for me. Because I wasn’t taking a gap year.
Until April.
When I realized that I was.
I tried to go in a couple different directions, but by August it was clear I’d been barking up the wrong tree. I was disappointed at first, thinking that either God had failed me or I had failed God when the truth was neither. Not even my “best-laid plans” can snatch me from God’s good will and sovereign plan in my life. I haunted some career fairs and researched a couple of programs, but by mid-October I was still generally noncommittal. When my friend brought up the World Race to me again, telling me about his sister who’d just returned, I basically blew him off thinking “I don’t have 11 months – I have to stick around to apply for medical school!!”
Regardless of what I said, I found myself looking for internships with the church-planting Mars Hill was supporting in Ethiopia. But again, no open doors for me there. The day I started perusing the World Race blog of my friend’s sister was a Sunday. I broke off from reading about her incredible testimony and crazy World Race stories to head to church. And who should be there but the woman herself. Strike one God.
I introduce myself and the words “I’m interested in going on the World Race” fall out of my mouth. After surprising myself with my own words I realized I actually needed to seriously pray about this. It helped that she described the $15,000 of money to be raised in support as “pocket change” for God.
Two days later someone I’d met on a Greyhound bus a year and a half previously messages me to catch up. Of all of the days in all of the months it was at this time. And he’d gone to Kenya in 2010 with Adventures in Missions! At the time it was a small coincidence, but looking back it is meaningful. Strike two God.
I prayed openhanded and undecided for another week or so, asking a couple of friends and mentors to pray as well and truly just seeking clarity. But a couple of fears and lies kept looping around my brain. A week into November I’m sitting down to dinner with my roommate from the year before. We’d tried to schedule a time for weeks and we finally were able to connect and catch up. Hours before meeting with her I’d finally written down the lies that were clouding my brain-water, preventing me from moving forward. Writing them down reminded me of the truth. Consequently it wasn’t until hours before meeting her that I came to a place where I’d tell her how seriously of a consideration the World Race had become. My roommate responds with “I have a friend who just got back from that in my room right now!”
Before that night I probably wouldn’t have mentioned the World Race to her. After that night she may not have been thinking of her friend in her room. And not many people from the Pacific Northwest have even heard of the World Race, let alone gone on it! Strike thee God.
Over the following week or so I continued to pray for clarity but now with excitement and desire about the World Race. One day I remember waking up and praying, then perusing the World Race website some more and all of a sudden I felt this overwhelming urgency to apply. I felt like I really needed to do this – more of a need than doing the laundry or taking a shower. Before I submitted my application I went to two people looking for wisdom, support, counsel….all the goods. And both (unexpectedly though rightly) hesitated to give me assurance that this was what God had for me. At first I was frustrated because I wanted to celebrate this with them. But then I realized two things: (1) I felt no less compelled to apply and (2) I felt strong faith that their hearts would be changed in God’s time and not by my power. I realized this was a personal step of faith helping me to know that when there are no wise counselors I will still be filled with the Holy Spirit because of Jesus. With a peace that can’t be manufactured I submitted.
That afternoon after submitting was the first time I met Laura Economides, the friend of my roommate who’d gone on the World Race the previous year. She shared with me her photos and stories, but most importantly she encouraged me and celebrated with me. God’s timing was perfect because although stepping out in faith is a good thing, it’s really hard and confirmation is comforting!! Two days later I had coffee with another girl who I’d met at church. It turned out that she’s been looking at the World Race for several years now and I was able to encourage her about God’s work in me. It was a stretch of a connection that God made happen between two strangers sharing an hour over coffee and I’m really grateful for it.
Soon after, the World Race actually paired Laura up with me as an official alumni contact. It was an enjoyable reminder of how God is always a step ahead of us, and Laura and I shared a laugh over that one. She also passed on this bit of wisdom regarding God’s direction: “sometimes life is like a rapid and sometimes its like a calm pool. When its like a pool, all it takes is for God to drop a small stone and you can sense the movement of the water in the ripples.”
For me it was a small stone – nothing flashy. Just a quiet voice saying “Here is the desire I promised to put in you in Psalm 37:4. Now go.” This desire He’s given me is not about the countries or the travel. I know that the excitement of it all will wear off and it will become the norm to carry all of my belongings on my back in a foreign place. I will be faced with the grinding mundane of relentless poverty and issues that cannot be fixed in human power. If my motivation in going on the World Race is to serve myself or to be a savior to these people then I will fail and be miserable in the failing.
But there is meaning in the World Race because we follow a Savior who really changes lives – who’s changed mine for sure. He is faithful to bring us to brokenness by our sin so that we are carried by the sweetness of the Gospel alone. I want to pour myself out for reconciliation because that’s exactly what Christ did. “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” (2 Corinth. 5:14) And by so much grace God didn’t just stop at making us righteous, but He gave us His Spirit to live in us with new desires. God doesn’t just want us to obey His commands, He wants His children to have His heart. I’m so excited to follow a God like that to whatever part of this planet I end up on.
