A word from a friend

 

Hello Facebook friends and family! Most of you know a little bit about what’s transpired in my life during the last five months, Kyle and I packed up everything we had (which is VERY little), moved away from all of my family, our church family, and our youth group kids so I could come to school at Christ for the Nations in Dallas, TX. God placed the desire to go to Bible school in my heart when I was 16 but I ran from what He was calling me to do. I ran because Bible School is unconventional and everyone around me was telling me to go to University first because a diploma from bible school was as good as useless. I graduated high school and enrolled in university. I attended for 2 years and I really enjoyed it but the entire time I just kept feeling like a piece was missing. Eventually I even shelved the idea of going to bible school because I was going to get my degree, I was married and life was moving in a different direction. Last summer we brought a group of teenagers to a camp called Youth for the Nations on the campus of Christ for the Nations. During that week the voice of God was so clear in my spirit. He said “Siobhan, you know what you are supposed to be doing, why aren’t you doing it?” When Kyle and I got home I told him what the Lord had been dealing with me about and he said “well we better go!” Thus began our adventure. We prepared to leave for the next six months and pulled out of Clovis the first days of the New Year!

Coming to Christ for the Nations (CFNI) has radically affected my relationship with Jesus and my perspective on what it means to be Christian. It has stretched me, uprooted things in my heart, torn down old walls and shown me my own hypocrisy over recent years. A lot of times it was very hard, and it hurt so much, and other times it was sweet and beautiful and peaceful. God is so in love with me and I am learning that. I am also learning that God not only loves us but He really likes us too. He wants to hang out with me, stand by me while I wash dishes or fold clothes and sit with me each morning while I nurse a cup of coffee. What a magnificent God we serve!

Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Whew! What truth is in that statement? My school costs about 4500 a semester, which breaks down to about 1100 every month that I am enrolled. Kyle and I went from living on three incomes to living on one. We knew that coming to school was going to be more than we could afford, but we didn’t want finances to affect the calling of the Lord. Every month our bill has gotten paid one way or another. We would look at each other and say, “1100 is more than our net worth, how in the world will we pay our balance?” Then an extra check would arrive in the mail, my parents would send an amount that we couldn’t believe, our tax return far exceeded what we expected to receive, we got back pay checks….the list goes on and on. Kyle and I have always tithed and given offerings above our ten percent, and this goes to show that when you are obedient with what you have God is faithful to his promises! Be encouraged! The dreams that God has given you are incredible, don’t let money stand in the way of going for it! Money has a way of following vision.
I have been saved since 2003 and actually walking salvation out since 2006 but it was not until this semester that I began to comprehend the magnitude of God’s grace. It is so much more than we could ever deserve. Grace empowers us to live Godly. Grace in unearned, undeserved, and unmerited favor and blessing by God. Our mindset as Christians has to change from an achieving to a receiving one. We have a hard time receiving because we don’t feel like we deserve God’s grace. Our righteous deeds will not make us righteous, Christ’s deed did. My jaw was on the ground as I learned these truths. I thought I understood God’s grace but I had no idea. I battled everyday with thoughts of not being good enough; therefore thinking I was unable to receive from God. What deception! I have begun to understand that Christianity is not about do, do, do it’s been done, done, done! Praise God!!!!!!

I have learned to be disciplined in my Christian walk. I’ve learned the importance of bible reading, prayer, fasting, sabbathing, forgiveness, integrity, money management, and journaling. I have fallen in love with evangelism all over again. It’s not about sitting in our pews saying “amen” when the pastor talks about inviting people to church; it’s about sharing Jesus with an open heart to those the Holy Spirit leads you to. I had been so far away from the truth of evangelism, and realized I had been ineffective at sharing Jesus with anyone because I was afraid. Being scared won’t be a valid excuse on judgment day when God looks at what we did with our lives. I am determined to share Jesus and his love with as many people as I can. In that, I want to connect with people and disciple them to maturity in Christ Jesus. It’s not about numbers of souls saved, it’s about those people we have poured our lives into and essentially reproduced who we are. Is your walk with Jesus worthy of reproduction? Mine is slowly getting there.

God is profoundly at work in my life. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always comfortable but at least I know I am growing. I didn’t know God could stretch one person so much. My heart remains faithful, even in the midst of discouragement. Coming to bible school has been the very first taste of one of my God dreams coming true. I feel like I am in a fairy tale and Jesus is my prince charming. He has romanced my heart every day and drawn me into deeper love. I realized I love God because of who He is not because of what He can do for me. Your dreams are yours to discover, be bold and confident, instead of talking about trusting God, actually do it! Step out, He won’t let you crash and burn. Sometimes it might feel like He has forgotten you, but take heart, He hasn’t. Our God is faithful, mighty, majestic, powerful, all consuming, beautiful, wonderful, strong, ever present, loving, and purely ravishing. He loves you AND He likes you! Go for it. I did and every second has been worth it.